People Come; People Go...

So we're really into the dog days of Miami.  My friend Joel and I walked outside with a young immigration lawyer, Pablo, and the heat hit us in the face.  We walked across the street, though, and into Brickell City Centre, a new mixed use development.  They have a "climate ribbon," and indeed the temperature dropped 10 degrees.  We escalated to American Harvest and had excellent lunches.  And we chatted about long term friendships.

Joel is like me -- he keeps friends for a long, long time.  His closest guys date back to his junior high days -- and he's now 46.  But he's learned, like all wise men, that sometimes you just have to cut people loose -- when you realize they're far more a drag on your life than benefit.

Wifey and I talked about this the other day.  The big news is the BFCW (big, fat, Colombian wedding), and that returns our memories to our wedding.  Wifey had four women in her bridal party.  Two of them are gone from her life forever.  Two remain close -- they'll be attending D1's wedding.

I had seven men in my wedding party.  One of them is essentially dead to me, two are fellows I speak to rarely, and four remain friends -- three "inner circle" friends.  So I guess I'm a lucky guy in that way.

My suegra always told Wifey that friends would disappoint.  In Suegra's case, she simply outlived just about anyone she was close with -- except, thankfully, for Wifey.  The old woman will turn 93 in December.  She's finally losing it, weekly, mentally, but physically she's strong as an ox.  We took her to lunch the other day, and her voice was so powerful everyone in the restaurant turned to see.  It was a Cuban place -- hers was the only Yiddish accent.  I think attending D1's wedding is keeping her going.  And she'll be there without any of her contemporaries -- we're not inviting her sister and brother in law.

It feels great to de-clutter.  Wifey and I have a lot to do in that regard -- though we abhor collecting stuff, somehow things accrete over the years.  I've started a new thing -- when a visitor likes a book -- I give it to them and tell them it's for keeps.  I used to treasure my book collection -- now I just see it as so much junk

I guess we have to de-clutter with people, too.  Relationships, no matter how longstanding, can have natural lives -- and then die.

Sometimes you just have to let them go...