What's a Lawyer Use For Birth Control?

His personaility, goes the old joke. And last night I was surrounded by them, for the first time in awhile. The ancient Chinese curse says "May your life be filled with lawyers." I guess I was so cursed.

My friend Norman's firm is one of the sponsors of an important committee: one charged with raising money to try to retain 3 Florida Supreme Court Justices.

Normally, retention of appellate judges is a given. The electorate doesn't vote them out unless, as the great Louisiana politician Edwin Edwards used to say, they find them in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

But this year, the evil Koch brothers have other plans. Emboldened by their success in helping to throw out Iowa justices who seem to favor gay marriage, they've come to Florida with their millions of dollars, hoping to get enough Tea Party types to vote "Do not retain" about the three Justices up this Fall: a Black woman, a Jewish woman, and a Liberal WASP.

These three were all appointed by the last Democratic Governor we had: long gone Lawton Chiles. The black lady seems really cool; the Jewish lady amazingly annoying, even during a brief talk she gave, and the liberal WASP is a terrific guy.

So, I walked over the the Hyatt ballroom where I got married 25 years ago, gave a check to the cause, and saw a bunch of my old colleagues.

As always, there was a funny anecdote. I arrived early, and met an older criminal defense lawyer I know. He's kind of famous in town -- I'll call him Roy, since that's his name. We rode the escalator down together, to the gathering on the patio by the river, and ordered a few drinks. We chatted -- he has a major case coming to trial soon that's been in the papers a lot.

It was strange -- we recognized no one in the group. I even remarked that each time I was with him, TONS of syncophants (ok, I said lawyers) came up to him. After about 15 minutes, Roy, using the keen power of observation that made him one of the country's top lawyers, said "Dave --we're in the wrong party." And so we were -- I looked up and saw a sign welcoming some sort of business introduction group.

We rode the escalator up to the ballroom, where almost immediately SEVERAL syncophants (other lawyers) came up to Roy and greeted him. Now we had arrived in the right place.

My friend Mike arrived, and we headed to the bar. Lately, at lawyer functions, we tend to be among the older ones there. Not last night! The true lions (and a few lionesses) of the local Bar were there -- I guess when the Supremes come out, the big shots follow.

Anyway, the three speakers were all personal injury lawyers: Herman, Steve, and Neil. They took the podium, and said essentially: "Look. We all have become VERY rich handling cases on a contingency fee basis, thanks large in part to Democratic judges like the ones facing expulsion, who tend to uphold the enormous verdicts we get from juries based on sympathy. If Republican judges come into office, we're in DEEP trouble."

Ha. As if! No one mentioned those factors at all. Rather, the talk was all about our system of justice, and the rights of the people, and preventing rich guys from coming in an installing THEIR types of justices, and if they're succesful, then Florida will be a bellweather for the coming fascism of America...

I love it when rich guys like Neil, Herman, and Steve warn about the dangers of OTHER rich guys...Such is America.

Of course, I'll support the effort. I'd rather have pro choice, pro gay folks up in Tally handling imortant cases. And, my practice still needs the old right to jury trial to be a vialble option to scare insurance carriers into paying settlements.

I guess I just fantasize about my fellow bar members being a bit more honest about real motives -- especially when the meetings are amongst just us chickens...

So Norman got stuck in Jupiter (I always think about "Lost in Space" when someone mentions that Florda town) on a depo and didn't even make the event he lured his partners and me to. I spoke to him on my way out -- he wasn't even back in the 305 by the event's end.

And Mike and I spoke -- Mike's scary smart, and a Republican. He allowed as how the Iowa Justices might well have been correctly booted, based on their unconstitutional rulings on the gay marriage issue. Still, Mike doesn't think realistically our 3 Supremes really have much to worry about.

I don't either, as the question comes during a presidential election year -- and more voters means less impact by Tea Party nuts. I guess we'll see come November.

Tonight there's another fundraiser, this time for a very competent sitting judge facing re election. She's a liberal lesbian (not out of the closet yet) who does a great job in the Juvenile Court. My partner Paul volunteers a lot there, and has really grown to like and admire her.

I told Paul I would go with him to her party. I'm backing out. I simply can't handle two nights in a row living in the Chinese curse...