Imaginary Baby

So I visited Ancient Mom last week, before I left for NYC. I got to her place a bit earlier than usual, as I had a stop to make on the way back to Miami. She wasn't yet dressed, so I went to pick up our usual lunch at Gramercy.

I returned with my salad and her omelette, and she savored it, and told me how hungry she was because of a "crazy morning" she had. She explained that she awoke to find a newborn infant in bed with her. She carefully avoided crushing the baby girl, and got up to take care of her.

The baby was a beauty, she said. About 9 pounds, with a full head of black hair. The baby was teething (even though a newborn) so she handed her a frozen bagel to chew on, and then called the "proper authorities."

Two very nice men came and assured my mother she had "done the right thing" in calling them, because, after all, a nearly 92 year old was in no position to care for a new born.

Mom told me this as she munched away happily, and I reacted pleasantly, as if she were telling me a tale that really happened, about, maybe, one of her neighbors.

Finally, she asked how the baby and men got in, as her door was locked. I explained that this had all happened in her head == she had dreamed it. Then her expression changed -- she avoided my comment, and changed the subject -- clearly not wanting to confront that her dementia had begun a pleasant blending of fantasy and reality.

The rest of the visit was fine -- she said, her usual several times, how thrilled she was to be remaining in her apartment, though she was a bit embarrased at how the place was looking a bit shaggy, with her bedroom wallpaper peeling, and the white carpet constantly stained.

I broached the subject of maybe having the place painted, but no, she said firmly -- she couldn't stand the upset.

And so it goes...

My sister went to visit her yesterday, and there was no mention about the baby, but she DID recount a story of an older man trying to pick her up in Wendy's, and how she flirtatiously resisted his advance. Who knows if that really happened, either.

This makes perfect sense to me, of course. As her world becomes smaller and smaller, with virutally no visits from anyone other than my sister and me (and every other month or so, one of the Ds, and Wifey), she is creating playmates, like a lonely child does. Of course, the child can look forward to growing and joining the real world -- for Mom that's not going to happen.

I shared this latest with D1, and she told me that she knew she was losing her grandma, as she knew her, probably 6 years ago, when she was a freshman in college. She visited her while on break, and realized that Ancient Mom, though she asked polite questions, wasn't truly interested in D1's life. The snow globe of old age and creeping senility was created.

So she continues to slouch towards her destiny, as we all do.

My mother has truly been one of the luckiest people in the world. She was born pretty, and amiable, and most importantly, married VERY, VERY well, to a man who took care of her, and whose efforts continue to support her nearly 30 years after his own death.

Other than losing my father at a relatively young age, my mother's life has been so smooth. I compare her life to that of my in laws, who survived the Holocaust, and lost most of their own families to the Nazi brutality, only to move to Israel, where their struggles continued.

Yes, Sunny has been lucky. I just hope her luck comes full circle, and that good night comes for her in a non traumatic manner.

I guess we'll see, eventually...