Last Dad Standing

In life, at various times, I've had orbits of friends. In college, Barry and Eric were in my closest orbit, followed by more distanct circles and ellipses. Jorge and Mark were in the next orbit out.

Curiously, out of all my high school and college friends, just about all of our fathers have died. Most of the mothers are still alive, now in their 80s and 90s.

Mark and I met though Barry. Barry went to high school with Mark, and brought him by the Honors Dorm, I guess in the Fall of '80. Mark was so loud and annoying, and the rest of us asked Barry if he really needed to invite him back. But, Mark's father Norman owned a Mister Donut restaurant, so next time Mark visited, he brought a few boxes. We then accepted him.

I had causually dated a cute tiny girl from Hollywood named Ricky. She and Mark hit it off, and one evening Mark sort of sheepishly told me he and Ricky had gotten together. I was happy for them, and we all grew closer.

Mark went on to medical school, and then moved to New York for his surgical residency. Ricky went to UM Law, and graduated. They married, and then divorced after the move to New York. Mark met Jill, a nutritionist at his hospital, and they married.

We always assumed Mark would return to Miami, like Eric and Barry did, but Jill wasn't having it. Her hair, which is frizzy, is very important to her, and she announced that moving to South Florida would produce "bad hair years." So, the 2 settled in Long Island, and had twins, who are now 16. They have prospered. Mark's neurosurgery practice has boomed, and the two live an upper class lifestyle in LI's North Shore.

Over the years, Mark has grown apart from us. I last saw him 13 years ago. His brother Steve is a lawyer in Miami, and our kids know each other, so I keep up with Mark, but during his many visits here, and my many visits to New York, neither has bothered to call.

Alas, 2 weeks ago, Eric (who has become Mark's parents cardiologist) called with sad news. Mark's Dad Norman had an incurable leukemia. He might not last one year.

I saw Norman in June, as D2's high school graduation. Norman's granddaughter Haley was in the class. Norman and his wife Rita and Wifey and I shared a lovely moment at the arena on the U campus. I asked after Mark, and Norman the Donut man lamented that his son had indeed become a real big shot, and only saw his family in Florida a few times per year.

In August, Norman saw Eric and was fine. By February, the blood cancer had set in. Norman died Saturday.

So last night, we travelled to Rita's Emerald Hills condo for the shiva call. Eric and Dana and Barry were there. The 4 men from the U were reunited.

Mark chatted happily (and loudly, as ever) about his career and life on Long Island. IT was sad, though. Dana showed a video of Barry's boys' recent Bar Mitzvot, and Mark's absence was clear.

We told some old stories, and I reminisced about Norman. I used to see him at UM baseball games, with a granddaughter or 2 in tow. I'd be leaving, and heare my last name booming out --it was Norman sitting with Rita, his wife, and a big smile.

On the way home, Wifey realized that neither of us offered plans to get together again. And so it is -- a close friend from years ago has drifted away, and the only reunion is over the death of a family member.

I emailed Barry and Eric, and reminded them of the obvious: our wives will likely outlive us, and we damn well ought to savor the fruits of our labors, before our widows enjoy them with the next generation of gold digging men...

Yesterday afternoon, D1 was here to say goodbye to D2, who returned to UF on a late flight. The two of them sat on a bench on our large porch. A yellow tabebuia tree was in full, brilliant bloom behind them. They laughed and giggled together, like little girls. I watched them and a tear fell -- the sight was exquisite.

Norman got many of those moments, I know. A working class Jewish guy from New York, who moved to South Florida, and got to say "My son the lawyer, my son the brain surgeon..." He was blessed with 6 terrific grandkids. He made it to 80, the biblically promised 3 score and 10.

Nice gig for the donut man from Hollywood.