Why Me Lord?

Yesterday I visited VOM (Very Old Mother), and she was doing surprisingly well. After I gave her great comfort, by tossing in the trash junk mail that she thought was important, we went to lunch. She told me she's still so grateful to be alive, though she wishes her hip pain would alleviate.

I told her she was doing amazingly well for a nearly 90 year old, and she agreed.

On the way home, I listened to an obscure satellite radio station (aren't they all?) and heard a song I hadn't heard since the 70s: "Why Me, Lord?" by Kris Kristopherson. It's a spiritual, and it discusses his finding Jesus, and asking the Lord why he, a mope, was given so many blessings.

Now, to me Jesus has only one real importance in my life. He's Jesus Garcia, an excellent mechanic, now retired, who did excellent work on my car, and I still miss him.

But the song's message still resonates --humility and gratitude.

Someone very close is going through another crisis with an adult child, the latest in a string of crises. It's hard for her to feel gratitude about anything right now, and that hurts me to the core.

I hate feeling powerless, and with her, that's what I am, other than giving a financial safety net. When someone close calls with a problem, my brain goes immediately to "how do we fix this" mode. With one so bereft, that doesn't do the trick.

So, today, as always, I count my blessings. D2 is taking the ACT as I write --trying to guild her score's lily, in my view. She already has a terrific score, but her quiet competiteveness drives her even more. She'd actually make a fine pre med student. But, that's not likely --after seeing all of my doctor friends and deciding that's not for her.

D1 just wrote from Gainesville --happy with her boyfriend, classes, and puppy.

Wifey is straightening up the house in advance of Rosh Hashanah, and the coming visit of my nephew and his wife from California.

Would that I could fix more that's broken. I just have to be thankful for what's not broken.