Chapter 2

About 15 years ago, Wifey and I became friends with an older couple, Alan and Helene. We met rhough our rabbi friend, and enjoyed spending time with them. We found them to be one of the very few married couples whose marriage we admired --they were very much in love, after a long marriage, and truly respected each other.

Alan and Helene never told the tired "ball and chain jokes." Rather , they spoke about each other in elevated terms, but in a lighthearted way.

About 7 years ago, Alan and Helene moved to Atlanta, to be close to their 2 kids and grandchildren. They all lived within a few blocks of each other, and Sandy and David and their spouses revelled in having Alan and Helene close by. Again --Wifey and I thought --this is what WE want --to someday have our own grown kids feel this way about us.

Sadly, soon after the move, Helene was diagnosed with a rare type of leukemia. Alan flew her all over the country (it turns out U Washington in Seattle has a cutting edge bone marrow/stem cell treatment facility) in search of a cure. Helene lived long enough to say goodbye to her many friends, and died last year.

There were memorial services in Atlanta and Miami. Helene was a beloved social worker, and had amassed a huge group of former patients and friends. It was Helene's dear friend Arlene who taught me a simple lesson that Helene lived: it's better to be kind than right.

Alan was devastated. He reached out to folks who lost long term spouses, and counseled them as well as himself. One of these visits was fateful.

He met Doreen, a longtime Miami friend, whose husband had died 9 months before Helene. They shared their grief, but then a spark happened.

I had breakfast with Alan yesterday, and he told me all about his newfound love. He told me that words can't describe his joy and amazement that he was able to love again, and how wonderful Doreen is.

He's probably going to move back to Miami, as Doreen is younger, and still working. Her house is less than 1/2 mile from where Alan and Helene lived.

Alan is in his late 60s, and yesterday had a glint in his eye and a spring in his step that has been missing during Helene's long ilness and death.

I guess the lesson is that you have to keep doors open. Alan has done that, and has been blessed with a terrific lady a second time.

I look forward to many more breakfasts with him. As he said --life is grand, and beautiful, as long as your heart stays open.