Wednesday, April 5, 2023

Passover -- Emancipate Yourselves

 Tonight begins Passover, the critical Jewish holiday which recalls the tale of our modern people. I can't help but think of Charleton Heston as Moses, Edward G Robinson as Aaron, Lilly Munster as Zipporah (who imagined I would marry one?), and the great Yul Brymmer as Pharoah. That Cecil B. Demille!

Anyway, of course the story is the liberation of Jews from slavery in Egypt, with miracles from the Big Man, like killing the first born Egyptian sons (avoiding Jewish hovels by smearing lamb's blood on the door posts, which we continue to commemorate by playing mezuzazot there, all to convince Pharoah to "let our people go." He agreed, but then thought better of it, and it took the parting of the Red Sea for the Jews and drowning the chasing Egyptians to finally do the job.

Later, there was wandering in the dessert for 40 years, since no one wanted to stop and ask for directions, and finally arrival in the Promised Land, where the Big Man gave Moses the great Instruction Manual for Life, the Torah, which the petulant tribesman initially rejected, but then reconsidered when the Big Man showed He meant business!

We celebrate with a Seder, which means Order, since the lessons are each essential and must be taught and understood precisely, even by the moron son, who is part of the service. In Ashkenazi tradition, we eat gefilte fish, a pretty awful, rubbery mix of fish which is only edible when drenched in horseradish, at least to me.

Fortunately, the Sephardim, of which my son in law Joey is a member, sees gefilte fish as they would trayf, or unkosher food. In fact, I learned several Passovers ago that a grandfather derisively called Ashkenazim "Gefilte Fish Eaters." I LOVED learning that, and started referring to my close friends with "Waddup, my GFE???" It was my derivation of Blacks calling themselves the N word. I'm surprised it hasn't caught on.

Also, Sephardim have concluded that Passover allows rice, which Ashkenazim eschew, as rice might leaven a bit when cooked. I strongly favor rice -- another plus on the Sephardic column.

But most importantly, Joey's family is warm and loving and has embraced us beautifully -- I think Jacqui is hosting near 20 tonight. D2 and Jonathan are skipping -- going to Jonathan's family instead, which I totally understand, as matriarch Judy will be there, one of the most loving and powerful women I know. In fact, when I think of modern matriarch, Judy is it -- presiding over her amazing family with unending love and strength. She and I got each other immediately upon our meeting years ago. She deemed D2 would become another granddaughter of hers, and damned if it didn't happen. At the surprise celebratory party of their engagement at the Grammercy Park Hotel in  NYC, Judy hugged me and said "We did it, David!" Yes -- pretty special woman.

D2 felt a bit bad about missing her family, and so suggested we do "second seder" together. That will be dinner at Christy's -- with zero Passover food but some awesome prime rib and martinis. It's about being together, first and foremost.

So I plan to listen closely to the Haggadah, or guide book. Joey has written his own family's, which is wonderful -- this year the toddler will be old enough to get some of the lessons, while the 8 month old will probably just be his adorable marshmallow self.

But to me, the message is best shared by the late, great, Bob Marley, who, it turns out, may well have some Sephardic heritage on his white father's side. He sings "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free our minds."

In this time where we Jews are NOT literal slaves, we are constrained instead by our mental demons. Oh -- to be able to break those bonds and soar -- closer to the Big Man.

That would be the greatest Passover gift there could be.

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