Bizarre Questions

So I was talking with an old friend the other day, and the topic turned to the strangest questions we've ever been asked. In his case, it was when he was in his late 20s. He had dated a girl a few times, and her mother asked him if he planned on asking her daughter to get married. He was taken aback, stuttered no, and stopped seeing her.

The experience must have chilled him -- he ended up staying single until he was 40.

I thought long and hard, and my response was when a relative, who I wasn't very close to, asked me to give her $200,000.00. This really happened.

I guess it was the late 90s, and this lady, an aunt, was living in Palm Beach County. I now assume she must have gotten the idea that my law practice, though successful, had turned me into a Bill Gates type.

I still recall the conversation like it was yesterday. She called, and said she had a question. Now, that used to be common among my aunts, uncles, and cousins -- I was the only lawyer in the family, and got requests for free advice all the time. There's a funny story about that, too.

Cousins I'll call Linda and Steve, since that's their names, would call the most often, with varied and numerous questions, about real estate matters, tax matters, simple criminal matters, and family law matters. Each time I would tell them I was really a one trick pony -- I only did PI work, but would share with them what I knew.

We were at a family event, and Steve came up to me, holding a paper. Could I look it over, and tell him if it seemed correct. It was a closing statement -- Linda had been rear ended by another driver, they had hired a lawyer, and the case settled for $100,000.00. The lawyer had charged 1/3 of the recovery. The issue was whether I thought the costs were reasonable.

I was flabbergasted. Who had they hired? Oh -- some lawyer who advertised in their teacher's union newspaper. Why had they not come to me with something I could actually help them with? Shrugs. I told them I never got between a lawyer and his client. Steve persisted. I finally got very stern with him and walked away.  My family...

But back to Aunt M. She told me her wealthy brother, who had always given her money to subsidize her lifestyle, had finally cut her off. She owned a house in Boca, as well as one on Long Island, where her daughter and son in law lived. She needed $200,000 to pay off the mortgage, so she could own both houses free and clear.

I guess at first I wasn't processing the request. Did she want a loan? A mortgage? No -- could I simply give her the money?

Instead of hanging up, like a schmuck, I stayed on the phone to try to help. Maybe she could sell the Long Island home, or get a reverse mortgage?  No -- she was smart, she reminded me, and had thought of all that. She wanted the Florida house free and clear so she could leave it to her family when she died.

Nah. I told her it wasn't even close to going to happen.

Thereafter, we had little contact. Her husband, my uncle, did call for a medical referral. His doctor in Delray had told him he was dying of liver cancer. I sent him to the top guy at UM, who agreed -- he did have liver cancer, but it was so slow growing, he would die WITH it, not from it.

The UM guy was correct -- he died of a heart attack at nearly 90 --years ago.

Aunt M is still alive. She is the final member of that generation. My Mom was one of 5 siblings, who were all married, and 9 are gone. Aunt M remains. I guess she managed to do it without the major gift she sought from me.

But I owe her thanks. I had the better story than my buddy in the little contest we had.