42 Year Old Spinster-Type Woman

When Dr. Barry attended UF Med School in the 80s, on of his academic heros was Dr. Smiley Hill, a Southern gentleman OB/GYN. Barry adored him, and his direct, non politically correct ways. Instead of describing a history of a woman who never had kids, which is relevant when looking at slides of her woman part cells, he'd call her a "spinster-type woman" to convey it. Wifey HATES the word spinster -- she finds it somehow anti feminist -- as if being married were a goal a woman SHOULD achieve, and failing to do so made her less so. Wifey also dislikes "barren" to describe a non fertile woman. So of course I use Spinster and barren often... Anyway, the wonder of FaceBook (tm) allows me to keep up with old high school mates, without having to have actual relationships with them. A major benefit of this is that I have zero desire to attend class reunions (our 35th is planned for October). Those I care to keep in touch with I do, and those I just have passing curiosity about -- well FaceBook satisfies that. One of my classmates is a woman who never married. She's a Cornell grad, and lawyer in NYC. I'll call her Lynn, as that's her name. Today she posted on FB that yesterday was the "14 year anniversary of the closing on my apartment." Now, owning an apartment in Manhattan IS a nice accomplishment, but it struck me that anyone with a fuller, non individual centered life, would probably never single that out as a life event significant enough to post on FaceBook. I don't know Lynn that well, and for all I know she has an awesome career and friendships or other family connections that mean a lot to others. But I felt sad -- noting the closing on a condo is, to me, a sign that one is living the kind of life I cringe about. Maybe I'm just becoming more curmudgeonly as I age, but I really love the connections in my life, with my Ds and my friends. I guess a spinster-type woman, or bachelor-type man avoids a lot of the worry and anxiety I have. My Ds are 22 and 25, and I still worry after them -- a lot. I've also noticed someting interesting about pets and people. Now, I dig our dogs -- I really do. But I've never equated them with people. We have friends who come over, and fawn over (ha) our dogs, without ever asking about our Ds. These folks have been married 8 years, and never had kids. They have cats, who they TREAT like kids. They really don't GET the concept of love for children -- they wonder why, for example, parents of young kids don't simply travel the world while leaving their kids with sitters... Dr. Smiley Hill died several years ago. I actually saw the obit in a UF newsletter I get because the Ds attended the college. Barry was sad to hear the news. He's on service this week, caring for critically ill kids. He obsesses, like I do, over his own kids. He hasn't had a closing on any apartments in NYC, and if he did, wouldn't post about it.