The Strange Tale of the Triple Amputee

Wifey and I were talking about some of the more bizarre client stories I had over the years, and she suggested I recount one or two. So here is the story that's true, but seems as if it can't be. I got a call from a referral lawyer about a man who was operating a construction machine, and it struck a power line, electrocuting him. He was holding a control box, and the current passed through one of his arms and both legs, requiring a triple amputation. My secretary Norma and I went to meet him in a rehab hospital. The scene was pathetic. The fellow was there, small and brown skinned, with his taped three stumps. As he recounted his history, in Spanish, I noticed Norma was acting strangely, as if stifling laughter. Sure enough, the man had a very funny way of speaking -- Norma later said he was the Cuban equivalent of Ratso Rizzo -- and despite this awful tragedy, Norma was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Then we asked him if he was married. He said he was, but when his wife, an overweight lady, was summoned to his hospital room and saw him for the first time, she collapsed of a heart attack. He tried to call for help, but the call button was on the side of the bed where he was armless, so he couldn't. That did it. Now he had ventured into the land of Monty Python, and Norma and I had to go into the hall, like junior high schools in a quiet class, to vent our laughter. To this day we feel guilty about this, but humor sometimes seizes a situation. Anyway, he got out of the hospital, and was fitted with prostheses. Worker's Comp bought him a house -- the first he ever owned. The pretty nurse who cared for him, fresh from Cuba, began giving him "extra care." We sued the company that rented the machine, under the theory that they should NOT have let a machine capable of causing electrocution to a work site near power lines. It seemed aburd, but an expert backed us up. When the client came in to be prepared for his deposition, my partner asked him to describe how awful his life was following the loss of 3 limbs. His answer shocked us: his life was BETTER NOW! He was getting around fine on his prosthetic legs, owned a house, and had the company of the hottie nurse, who he planned to marry. Despite this problem with the damages portion of the case, the company settled with us, for a lot of money. The man refused to have his money paid out over time, and took it in a lump sum. Off he went, to begin blowing the stash -- buying cars for just about everyone he knew in Hialeah. And then -- he won Lotto! Really. His take, as I recall, was the high six figures. And he married the hottie nurse, and lived happily ever after. Not so fast... He blew most of the Lotto winnings, and one day got into his Caddy to drive to Orlando to see a relative. An hour into the trip, he realized he left some papers back in Hialeah, and returned home. This was a fateful move: he found his wife in bed with his soon to be former best friend. He had a gun, and he shot -- his wife! She didn't die, but had to go to the ICU. He got arrested. He called the lawyer who referred him to us, trying to sell his one remaining Rolex to pay for bond. The referral lawyer, a sweet guy but no legal scholar, called me to see if I thought there was an ethical problem in buying a $10K watch for $1K. I told him that I was no legal scholar either, butI didn't think it was a good idea. This was over 10 years ago, and I have no idea what became of this fellow. If it turned out he won Lotto again, and got yet another young wife, I wouldn't be surprised.