Homophobia -- I Just Don't Get It

I just never understood bigotry against gays. I guess part of it was my mostly tolerant, liberal upbringing, and the fact that my Dad had plenty of gay sustomers who owned gift shops. When I would ask him why the men acted like ladies, he'd just shrug and give me the classic Yiddish/English answer: "well, they're faygellas, and they love other men." His response was akin to saying that maybe another guy liked redheads -- or a woman preferred short guys. In other words, no big deal. As I went to college and met gay guys, or at least fellows who admitted it, I had a simple, practical take on it: terrific -- less competition for the ladies! I had one or two guys come on to me, but it was the same as when a fat chick did the same: I was mildly flattered, but not shocked. So fast forward all these years to last night, when Wifey and I went to our first same sex wedding. Dr. Patti and Dolores -- who have been together 20 years. Of course, our neanderthal Florida government is about 10 years behind the times, and doesn't recognize gay marriage, so they had to make it legal in Vermont. But they're allowed to party here, and they did, in fine style. We met at the Signature Grand, a banquet hall in Davie, I think. After all these years in South Florida, I can never differentiate between Davie and Plantation...Anyway, the ceremony was under a chupa, as Dolores is Jewish. Patti was raised Catholic in Maine, but I guess culturally they go Old Testament. The ultra liberal rabbi gave a lovely service, and at the end, both ladies broke the glasses. It was lovely; it was joyous. The reception was great -- drinks, buffet dinner, and an entertaining DJ. Folks gave speeches -- the best one was by Dr. Barry, who did a servicable Billy Crystal. Oh yeah, one more thing: Patti and Dolores are two of the finest humans I have ever met. Dolores is a pediatric nurse, who cares for the most medically challenging kids -- vegetative state, paralysis, various deep levels of brain damage. She does it with such love and dignity -- making the parents feel like their kids are the same as "normal" kids, that a visit to her facility at the Jackson complex makes you leave thinking our species really is worth a damn... And Patti, well, she's a critical care doc, and teacher of young docs, and expert in the worst area imaginable -- essentially hospice care for dying children. Here, too -- she acts with saintliness, as evidenced by the speeches of some of the parents last night, who broke down that Dr. Patti, who gives so much of herself, was finally celebrating a night of her own happiness... Plus -- on top of everything, she's part of the Miami Dade Urban Search and Rescue Team -- best in the US -- they fly into ravaged areas and pull victims out of collapsed structures. One of the firemen spoke last night about how Patti is supposed to wait for the rescuers to bring the patients to the sideline, but Patti is always right there, risking her life to save others... True angels on earth, these two. And a portion of our society would treat them as less than equal -- deny them the right to marry. Well, last night was a huge F YOU to those haters. Amazing people celbrated their love for each other, and we were privileged to share. Dolores has 2 grown sons, and she and Patti adopted one of the grandsons -- he's now 12, and a gorgeous towhead. He grabbed the mike at the toasts, and put it into perspective: "I don't really know what each of you do at work, but I know you save kids lives, and that's great. And I also know I love being YOUR kid." I cried. Wifey, acting like her mother, kept pulling my face to see "Are you crying? Arew you CRYYYYYING?" Yes I was. Last night made me proud to be alive.