Finding Humor in Law

Yesterday my brother in law emailed me a report of the "Stella Awards," an account of absurd lawsuit results named after the infamous woman who won money from McDonalds after she spilled hot coffee on her own lap. A quick Snopes.com check showed the reports were all made up, but still very funny. It jogged my memory about the truly funniest claim letter I ever read. We were in litigation against a lighter company, and the court ruled they had to share with us reports of prior incidents. As a young lawyer, my job was to read through these boring letters, most of which sought new lighters when the ones purchased failed to work. I seem to recall there were hundreds of these. One letter was different, though. It came from a man in Montana, or Idaho -- one of those cold, snowy states. The man wrote in a classic Western US laconic fashion. He said that he lit his pipe with one of the company's lighters -- popped it back into his bathrobe pocket, and walked over to his patio door to enjoy the evening view. He called out to his wife "Honey -- the Simpson house is on fire!" Shortly thereafter, he felt pain in his thigh, and realized that in fact HE was on fire -- and had seen a reflection of his own conflagration in the glass door. He extinguished himself. He only wanted money for a new flannel robe. Ah, the tales of a career in the law business. I really do need to write some of these down. My old boss Ed shared my sarcastic, black sense of humor. Back in the day, when I worked for him, my current partner Paul, and other boss Frank didn't get the humor in much of what Ed and I found hilarious. Ah, Ed. Paul went to the funeral of one of his old friends a few weeks ago. Paul asked after Ed -- who didn't make the trip. He learned that, nearing 80, he stays home much of the time -- back pain keeps him off his fishing boat, and certainly away from the adventure trips he used to love. Paul and I are going to make a pilgrimmage to see him in the coming months -- to see if we can't cheer him up. He taught both of us so much about law -- and so much about life as well. We left his employ nearly 20 years ago, and still invoke his wisdom all the time. Just the other day, I told Paul I was contemplating a long trip -- with D2. Paul recalled Ed's words, when Paul inquired about spending so much money on a hotel: "Some things in life you can't afford NOT to do." I'm going to plan the trip...