December 15th -- Two Life Events

 Today is my late suegra Rachel's birthday. She would have been 99 -- and made it to 97. A FaceBook (tm) memory popped up, showing me making one of my "horrible faces," as Wifey calls them, next to Rachel on her 90th birthday. In a world of tough mother in law jokes, I get to the top of the list.

Rachel loved Wifey and the Ds fiercely. She kind of tolerated me, though Wifey says that's not true. I do know her damage never truly allowed her or my late suegro to fully trust me, even after I supported them for decades. When they were finally letting Wifey be a signee on their accounts, with balances of about $15K, they told Wifey "Just you -- not your husband -- you never know!"

But it's nicer to recall the positive, and she was an amazing grandmother to the Ds -- always there for them, asking to change them when they were babies, and begging to babysit. She had energy well into her 80s, and the Ds have precious memories of their loving Sabta.

And sticking to the positive, my late suegros taught me a LOT about who I wished to be as a father in law. I try to NEVER make it about me -- I try to defer to the Ds and their mens' desires and wishes. I'm sure I fail from time to time, but I typically ask myself how my in laws would have reacted to a particular issue, and I take the opposite tack. It seems to have worked out.

But as Barry ALWAYS pointed out, the Holocaust changed everything, and the way they suffered -- having most of their family killed, being slaves, in concentration camps -- well -- they got a pass for essentially everything. We're all damaged -- I can't imagine any more damage than being a Survivor.

On another note: today is the 5th anniversary of a banner family weekend: Jonathan's surprise proposal to D2 in NYC. He planned it for months, and several of us flew up and stayed in the Grammercy Park Hotel to share the joy.

The original plan was that Jonathan had access to the Park, a private one only open to Grammercy Park residents and guests of the hotel. But it had rained, and the snooty Park Trust strictly prohibited anyone going in the park with wet pavement -- lest they slip and sue the Trust. So Jonathan had to call an audible, and instead lured his intended to Washington Square Park, where he popped the question, and then walked her to the hotel.

The hotel didn't have a bartender for us, as promised, and so Paul and I went into self-help mode: we bartended ourselves, pouring guests probably at least $500 worth of top shelf booze. It was most memorable.

D1 couldn't make it -- she was recovering from complications from trying to get pregnant -- and so she and Joey attended on FaceTime (tm).

It was a terrific time, and at the end of the afternoon, actor Ron Perlman was outside -- I asked him to pose with the newly engaged, and he did.

I joked today with Scott, who just pulled off a similar surprise. The night before, he and Samantha met President and Jill Biden at a White House press party. My kids met Hellboy.

In two days, the little boy D1 tried so hard to conceive, turns 4. He's a delight -- smart and hilarious and with boundless energy. He's already speaking like a 9 year old "Will Ippi (his name for Wifey) and Grandpa Dev be SPENDING Chanukkah with us?" We did -- the 7th night.

So RIP, Rachel. I like to think you're smiling from above.