The State of Banks

 I remember when banks would give you stuff if you made a deposit. My Dad even got our second color TV as a gift when he opened a $10K CD -- in the late 70s. My how things have changed.

I've kept two low balance accounts at SunTrust for years -- they pay our annual life insurance premiums. We let Wifey's insurance lapse years ago, on account of I figured the Ds were old enough that if something untoward were to happen to Wifey, I wouldn't need the money to hire an incredibly hot nanny for them. Yes -- life didn't take that tragic turn, fortunately.

I still have one whole life plan, which expires when I turn 65, and each July I deposit about $1100 into the trust account, pay the premium, and then leave a few hundred dollars until the following July.

Well Mike, my friend and trustee, got a letter. SunTrust is turning to Truist, which is one of the stupidest names in corporate history, in my opinion, and Truist said the salad days were over. Any accounts with balances less than $1000 would be charged a $6 monthly maintain fee. I keep a couple of rather substantial money market accounts with SunTrust, which pay peanuts in interest.

So I call my "private banker" Eric, and ask him to please waive that $72 yearly fee -- explaining that it's a 2 transaction per year account, and, come on...

No fewer than 10 emails have been exchanged. I guess being allowed to waive that fee is something that must be decided at the corporate level. I finally got a bit Karen-like, and told Eric if they said no -- I would close all my accounts with SunTrust/Truist. That got his attention, and by the way, would I be interested in talking to their wealth advisor? Insurance specialist? No I would not, but it occurred to me that they had become car dealerships -- trying to sell useless undercoating, or maintainence plans.

But there's more! I followed my banker friend Carole around since 1992 -- from SunTrust to Bank of Boston, to Gibraltar, which got bought by Iberia, which is now changing to New Horizon -- a less stupid name than Truist but still stupid. Carole wants us to close our accounts and come to her new bank -- a local place -- with promise of a free safe deposit box!

I really dig Carole, but making this change would require mustering the Ds, Wifey, and I at the new facility in Kendall, on a weekday. Also, I'd have to change all the auto pays linked to the account -- so not going to happen.

So I emailed my NEW "personal banker" and asked for a free safety deposit box -- they cost $120 per year. Same thing as the other bank! He has to ask permission.

He asked me if a discount would make me happy. I told him it would not -- if they couldn't extend the courtesy -- I would indeed close my accounts and follow Carole. We'll see.

I realize these are the height of rich white guy problems. But on the flip side of that -- our FREE Covid tests came in the mail today, courtesy of Joe Biden. We are firmly in the 25% of Americans who approve of his job performance. Until his weakness allow Russia to take back Ukraine and China to take back Taiwan, of course. Then maybe some buyer's remorse...

But for now, it's great to have these kinds of problems. Supposably, as Miamians say, the installer for the appliances is coming buy today for a "pre install inspection." The oven finally came in, and is sitting in our garage along with the new compactor, dishwasher, and gas stove top/exhaust system.

The fellow said he'd wait for the enormous fridge, but I told him that may never come -- could he please do what we had so we'd have an oven for the first time since October, when the perfectly working one was removed for the one with the stainless steel front.

We'll see how much of the quotidian gets done this week.