Because: Miami

 Years ago, the great humor writer Dave Barry said one of the best things about living in the 305 was how the strange and weird became commonplace. He wrote about telling his young son "Ok -- you can ride your bike, but only up to the Drug Dealer's house!" He described it like it was a normal family name.

Well, this am my neighbor Allison shared some prime local chisme (Spanish for gossip). I really like Allison and her husband Eric. They have a terrific young son, a high school senior, and two really enormous dogs. I'm talking like 150 pounds each -- true gentle giants. Eric was born and raised in Haiti -- a Waitian, as the Ds used to say (White Haitian) and Allison worked for the US State Department there. She's a Georgia girl who went to Michigan, and is a rabid Blue fan. We often talk about football.

Anyway, she told me her across the street neighbor, who I'll call Cesar, since that's his name, was one of the people Trump pardoned last week. Cesar bought his house from a woman who is now a State Senator, and he and his wife did a massive renovation. He now has it listed for $1M more than any house in my 'hood has sold for, and per agent friend Ann, it might be worth it. They used top materials and made it a place out or Architectural Digest meets Miami Vice.

Cesar owns a very successful pool supply company, but apparently at one point also dealt some weed. He ended up serving 14 months in Federal prison. Marijuana trafficking seems kind of quaint and old timey, like bootlegging or mayhem. But I guess they nabbed him some years ago. I guess he wants to vote again, and used his contacts with our new GOP Congresswoman, who beat Donna Shalala for the seat, to get his pardon.

His neighbor to the West is Frank, a retired D.C. government employee. Frank never gives details, but he has the aura of someone who may have been high up in either the CIA or FBI.

So now the convicted Federal felon is living across from and next to a couple of retired Federal employees. Ah -- glorious diversity -- all happy and peaceful in our tropical paradise.

I just hope Cesar doesn't have any lingering enemies, who are just laying in wait for the right time to launch a "Narcos" type revenge hit. It seems there's often some innocent schlimazel who gets killed as a bystander, and I walk past the house several times per day. I don't wish to be that schlimazel. 

Meanwhile, Wifey and I celebrated our 34th anniversary yesterday. We went to D1 and Joey's, and spent a delightful day outside with D1 and Jonathan and our grandson and 2 dogs. The Ds dear friend Alyssa surprised us with a visit -- all cured from COVID, which she and her husband Fredy caught.

On the way home, we stopped at the former Canton, now a Sushi Maki, but owned by the same family, for some nostalgic takeout. Wifey and I ate MANY meals there when we were dating, and newly married, and even now. The menu changed a bit, and the place is totally modernized, but the lo mein and Kung Pau chicken were fine, as was the "special wonton soup." But alas, they no longer send it home with noodles, in a nod, I guess, to healthier eating. We missed the noodles...

We sat outside in the cool breeze and reminisced about the past three decades plus since we married. Our last minute relief Rabbi read some vows we had written -- we borrowed from Bob Dylan and vowed to be each other's shelter from the storms of life. We had no idea the message would be literal.

With Andrew, our house mostly blew away in a scene recalling the black and white beginning of "The Wizard of Oz." Afterward, there were many more hurricanes to either endure or flee from. And now -- a worldwide pandemic!

We're thankful the plague is mostly just an annoyance for people the Ds and our sons in laws' ages, and, as Dr. Barry says, essentially a non issue for young children. But, as we're getting up there, as the Brits say, we hope to get the vaccine sooner than later.

Another 34 years? Nah -- Wifey pointed out -- that would make us too old and likely out of it. 25 more would be absolutely terrific.

Hopefully the plague or my neighbor's former enemies don't get me much sooner...