These Times Could Drive a Man to Drink

Everyone who knows me knows I enjoy a nice martini or three...but always at social occasions. I have poured myself a drink by myself rarely -- surely fewer than 10 times in my life. I enjoy the social part of alcohol -- getting buzzed and laughing with friends. But last night was an exception.

The world gets, as Alice would say, curiouser and curiouser. Wifey and I have been home since Friday, other than Wifey's brief venture to our local market, Milam's, and a pick up of Shorty's barbecue.

As an investor, I've sat at my screen and watched huge chunks of our investments wash away, thinking the whole time of my late father. My Dad never trusted the stock market - had very few holdings. Of course, when he retired, he got close to 20% returns on CDs, and so could afford to avoid Wall Street. I don't, but always keep more cash than my experts tell me to. In these times, it is a happy call...

Things evolve quickly. We had plans to have a social distance get together tonight with Ken and Joelle -- bring in dinner, and watch a movie from opposite sides of the room. But Ken texted yesterday to bag it -- he DOES work in a hospital, albeit in a room reading films, and maybe we ought to avoid any meets for the time being. He IS my smartest friend...and I am blessed to have a lot of very smart friends...

So the days are old movies, documentaries, and nice walks in the thankfully beautiful weather. Wifey and I are both very laid back, though with bouts of tensosity. We laugh a lot together. We've been shut out of visits to her mother's ALF, and wondered what would happen if the Palace called and said -- sorry -- game's over -- come fetch the senile 95 year old. I said I would tell them they have been paid over $150K over the three years she has been a resident -- they effectively BOUGHT her now. Wifey agrees...

I called Stuart, who as of yesterday had the office open and normally staffed. I love the fact that he is Alfred E Neuman -- what ME worry? He said he had two crucial hearings this week. Of course, an hour later it was announced the Courts had fully closed for now.

I watched the news, and listened to Trump. So much of it seems like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. And then it occurred to me -- as a logical guy -- I needed to become a bit comfortably numb.

I poured myself a nice, generous Tito's martini -- a quarantini, as they've now called. That's a regular martini you drink alone. I sat out by the pool and felt the nice effects. I followed with a second -- because as a wise man once told me, martinis are like shoes -- you ought to have two, but probably don't want a third. I often DO have the third and even more, at weddings and tailgates, but I stuck with the shoe theory last night.

D2 Facetimed me, with her happy puppy Betsy, on the way to the dog park. I told her to go bring in a fancy dinner for her and her man -- my treat. I previously told D1 and Joey to do the same -- fetch a delicious steak and salmon from the Palm, along with carrot cake. Joey did, and I got the pictures later to prove it.

I stumbled inside. Wifey suggested we watch the new HBO version of "The Plot Against America," Philip Roth's scary dystopian novel about an alternative ending to WW II -- if Lindberg had won the presidency instead of Roosevelt, and joined the Nazis in running the world. It seemed an appropriate scary, what if the world ends sort of movie -- but alas it didn't come on until 9, and it was 830 and I was ready to call it a night.

I drifted off to another happy show -- the reconstruction of an air crash, courtesy of the Smithsonian Channel...

So -- the anxiety continues. I don't plan to make the quarantinis a nightly thing. I yearn for the togetherness of our beloved family and friends.

I'm especially thankful now for the life partners the Ds have -- real men -- taking care of their business and my Ds and grandson and grand dogs.

We share laughs over FaceTime and texts. D1 read her son a child's book she used to enjoy -- "I'll Love You Forever." It caused her to ball. Joey asked, innocently, "Is that really a children's book?" I said to maybe pick "The Giving Tree" to keep the crying going...nothing like a dying old man and stump of a previously fruiting tree to keep spirits up...

I keep saying prayers to the Big Man. Let us get through this. If things worsen, I won't be able to get vodka, anyway.