Always Something There To Remind Me

The Herald had a sad story yesterday, profiling two separate Parkland families who have left Broward after losing their daughters. The hook on the tale was their differing politics: one left because Broward is too liberal, and the other because it's too pro gun.

The conservative Dad is a type I'm very familiar with -- a tough, blue collar Jewish guy from the NYC suburbs -- owned a mechanic shop, and like Tony Soprano, named his daughter Meadow. The liberal Mom is an educator -- worked as a security consultant for Broward schools, but was frustrated about the lack of more gun control in Florida.

A sad part of my law career has been getting to know many parents who lost children. It's a pain no one ever wants to know about -- but my cases have involved just that. Typically the parents, if married, get divorced. One client Mom told me that each time she and her husband looked into each other's eyes after the accident, they shared the same misery. They had to go their separate ways to get some relief from it.

I also learned that there is no "correct" way to grieve. One Mom visited her 4 year old son's grave every day -- usually drunk or high. A Dad took to telling morbid jokes about death -- the shock on listeners' faces seemed to give him a moment of relief.

The Parkland father and his wife are moving to Oregon -- but NOT Portland. Turns out much of the state is gun loving and conservative -- he said that the Parkland Strong stuff sickened him -- an excuse to further a liberal agenda using his daughter's death as a political prop.

The Parkland mother is also going northwest -- but to Seattle -- her husband is an IT guy with many contacts there, and she thinks Washington state will put enough distance between her and the tragedy to give some relief.

I don't know.

D2 and I were discussing this the other day. She and her man are coming upon a big choice soon about where to live. She really digs Greenwich Village, and not having to have a car, and being able to walk everywhere.

I told her that I have come to understand that, if I have those people precious to me close, I'd be happy in Omaha, Nebraska, or some such place. Omaha was actually nice -- had a nice meal at the Drover Steakhouse and saw Warren Buffet's house before watching the Huskers beat my Canes...

In other words, as you age, you care about life, and less about lifestyle -- even though our culture esteems finding the proper lifestyle.

I wish these Parkland parents peace -- regardless of their politics. I fear, though, that the sage words of Buckaroo Banzai, distilling the wisdom of Confucius, will prevail: wherever you go...there you are.

I was talking with D2's good friend Ali yesterday. The girls had gathered at Catherine's parents' house for a trip to Key West, to celebrate Cath's upcoming wedding. Ali adores D2, and was hit hard by the news that she may leave NYC.

Ali told me she'd love to come to South Florida, but her husband, a West Palm native, hates the hot weather -- never could stand it his entire childhood.

I get it -- weather does affect our mood, and it's rather brutal here in the summer.

But again -- preferred climate far from those you love and adore, or perfect weather all alone?  For me -- it wouldn't be a choice.

If you're blessed to have kids you're close to -- you need to be where the action is -- where they live.

Those poor Parkland parents are bereft. I truly feel for them and hope they find serenity far from Broward...