The Wisdom of Professor Schultz

I often recall a statement from an Organic Chemistry professor I had back in 1980 -- Harry Schultz. As of a few years ago, he was still alive -- nearing 100, and living in, I think, Tennessee. Harry was a classic "Greatest Generation" guy, and a true expert in his field. Also, a gifted teacher -- keeping even the likes of me, math and science challenged, somehow interested in the fact that carbon atoms could do so much stuff...

Anyway, the two smartest kids in the big lecture room were my still brother, Eric, now a cardiologist, and Oscar, a Cuban guy who went on to become a big shot plastic surgeon here in town. Harry would greet us each day with "Good morning my fellow students!" and then set about terrorizing and instructing with the Socratic method. At the end of the semester, he opened up the room to general questions, and Oscar, handsome and confident, said "Professor -- you are the expert and we are the students. How come each morning you call us "fellow students''?

Harry gave theatrical pause, and said "My dear Oscar...we are ALL fellow students in the study of human nature!"  And so we are...

The Ds and I have been discussing the fact that we are spoiled by our circle of close friends and family. We care about each other. We do stuff for each other. But, as the Ds have learned, that seems to be the minority position in this world -- most people have their own agenda, and look out only for themselves...

The Ds see this often professionally. They think a client or co worker will "do the right thing," and watch them "do the selfish thing."

It took me longer to see that common side of people. I'm glad the Ds are getting the message in their late 20s and early 30s. It won't embitter them, hopefully, but will prevent  disappointment when people act selfishly, instead of generously...

I recalled and shared with the Ds a tale of a former employee -- someone I considered a close friend. My partner Paul was even more financially generous than I would have been. When we started the firm, this employee was in serious credit card debt. Before we even settled our first case, Paul convinced me to pay off her bills, and have her surrender all but one of her cards -- to be used for emergencies. She'd pay us back out of bonuses we hoped to give if the firm did well.

Indeed -- the bonuses were very generous. Our CPA and his assistant used to be shocked -- the employee was good with clients, but couldn't write a letter of more than two sentences in English without several revisions. Our financial people couldn't believe the size of the bonuses -- sometimes at Xmas they exceeded $30K.

Anyway, the employee did so well, after 12 years she was able to semi retire, with a new house, and chose to start a business with her husband. Paul was a bit hurt -- he thought she owed us more time. I wasn't -- I was happy for her, and wished her well. She left tearfully, saying she could never truly thank us for all we had done to improve her life. Ha. Not so fast...

A few months later, we had suffered a merry go round of employees. We finally seemed to find one who was ok, Larissa, and we had some major cases coming up for mediation and trial. It was August of '06. I left to embark on one of the best times of being a father -- getting my precious D1 settled into college.

Larissa called me on a Friday afternoon. She was quitting. Right then. I was having a burger and beer at the Gainesville Copper Monkey. I recall this like it was yesterday, and not 13 years in the past. She was so stressed out (in fairness, Paul could be tough to work for back then) she was quitting -- didn't care if we didn't give her good recommendation letters -- she was just letting me know that when I got back Monday, there'd be no secretary.

Sunday, as Wifey and I drove back to Miami, I knew I had a temporary solution. I'd simply call the woman who was taking it easy for awhile, explain to her that after 12 years of making her life great, we finally needed a favor in return. She'd come back for a few weeks, at whatever salary she asked, to get us through the tough period until we found another experienced secretary. I made the call, explained our predicament, and told her I'd bring breakfast on Monday...

Nope. She said she was loving finally sleeping late on weekdays, and living this life. No way she would do it. I clarified -- it was just for a few weeks -- a real favor to her "brothers," as she called us when the bonus checks were handed out. She was resolute. Not going to happen.

We muddled through, somehow, and hired Anna, who was terrific, but only lasted a year. She had a high school senior daughter who dreamed of going to USC, and Anna followed her to LA like any good Cuban Mom -- not sending her daughter across the country alone!

But the lesson hit me hard. People can often suck -- even those you think will help you when you ask, since you helped THEM countless times before.

I shared this with the Ds. They already get it. The lesson also falls under the banner of something I've been telling them since they were in Kindergarten, and protest something they didn't like with "But it's not FAIR!"  That's right, I'd tell them -- life is NOT fair...but it can often still be exquisite. And it is.