All of Us Together Can Be Stupider Than Any One Of Us Alone

Committees. I was never very good at being in them. Dr. Barry spends much of his professional life in them -- listening to self important academics insist on telling everyone around them how smart they are.

Between my activities at UM and His Holiness, the Rabbi's shul, I have been on several committees over the past 1/4 century. I find myself bored within the first minutes of a meeting -- looking at the participants and making up stories in my head about their lives...

Over time, I got out of the committees -- save one. It was the U M Arts and Sciences Visiting Committee -- something my friend Ross Murfin started in the 90s. He asked about 10 of us -- mostly College Alums, and a few wealthy academic dilettantes, to meet with him twice a year (he was Dean then) to give our input about the College and the Miami community, and how the College might improve.

During the next 26 years or so, as several different Deans came and went, the Committee morphed into a group of VERY rich folks who gave, or might be willing to, give money to the College. I went from being someone whose opinion mattered to a very small fish -- sitting next to the wife of the hedge fund guy, for instance, who gave $10 million to build the new student union.

I thought seriously about quitting, but couldn't really justify doing so, even though the Dean stole my one big idea, for a central College internship program, and told everyone he had come up with it. The meetings were only twice a year, and they always had a brilliant and interesting speaker -- the last one was the Director of the Lowe Art Museum, who taught a lesson about campus art galleries nationwide.

Other speakers talked about the spread of the Zika virus -- this was long before Zika became a thing in the US, and evolving theories of urban living.

Also -- Wifey and I got cool passes - like to meet Anderson Cooper, and Thomas Friedman, and tickets to music shows with Steve Miller and Don Waas, and  Bruce Hornsby.

Still -- I was going to quit...and then, kismet intervened. I got a letter from the Dean that said, in two full pages, that they were doing away with the Committee, and replacing it with two SEPARATE committees. One would be asked to "advance our College's prominence," while the other would "provide advice on major issues -- to advance the College's prominence."

The letter gave me the best belly laugh in awhile. Some consultant, hired by the university to get better, said it made sense to increase bureaucracy among rich volunteers. Precious.

The letter further said I would be contacted over the Summer to best match my talents with "existing University volunteer opportunities." In other words, I gleaned, I was not going to be asked to serve on either of the newly formed committees, but would be offered, maybe, some lesser role.

I get it. My donations have slowed to a trickle -- sort of like having benign prostate hyperplasia of donation.

A few years ago, I got a letter from the "Advancement Office" thanking me for my "lifetime contributions of over $50K."  That was nice, but I wrote them and told them my lifetime contributions, to the Med School, College, Hurricane Club, and a trickle to the Law School, had exceeded $100K. 

An embarrassed flunky wrote back and apologized, but the writing was on the wall. My beloved alma mater wants more Phil Frosts and Miller Family, and Perez's -- and fewer little 6 figure pishers like me.

I knew things had changed when they built a totally unnecessary additional bridge over Lake Osceola, which is truly only a wide part of a canal. The bridge cost well over $1M.

I will politely tell whoever calls me this Summer that I will always love the U, but am not a committee guy -- even a lesser one that the coming two new College groups of much richer folks than I currently being assembled.

The Dean's letter to us concluded that he was "immensely proud of the current Visiting Committee accomplishments."  Yeah. Whatever.

The truth is, FIU needs our money and time more. They're spending the money we give helping future health care providers realize their dreams.

And FIU doesn't even want to HEAR the word "bridge."