Staying Out of the Dark

I had a long talk with my California sister yesterday, and we philosophized about the need to surround ourselves with upbeat and happy people.  I told her I LOVE it when friends call to tell me about triumph and winning. I'm at an age where I listen to the negatives and drama, but have much less patience for them.

Earlier, I had spoken with my friend Jeff. It was his birthday, and he's a very lucky man. He has three accomplished daughters, and the oldest, most importantly, married a great young man. The oldest is graduating with a MS in Architecture and MBA next week, and Jeff, his wife, and 2 daughters are all meeting for this wonderful event.

Jeff told me about a local tragedy. A 26 year old young man had killed himself via a drug overdose. I know who the family is, but I don't personally know them. They are star crossed: 10 years ago, while on a cruise to the Bahamas, the parents were struck by a truck (they were on scooters) and grievously injured. They needed lengthy rehab, and apparently the Dad was never the same.

The young man apparently had a rough time of things. He did a few stints in rehab, and seemed to be on the mend, but then brought down the final curtain.

I felt terrible to hear this news, but soon directed our conversation back to the positive -- telling Jeff that if there is a better birthday gift than a child's graduate school graduation -- I don't know what it is.  I wanted to be in the brightness again -- staying focused on these peoples' tragedy wasn't for me.

I'm lucky, in that I inherited the optimism from my Mom. But, like her, I have to work at it. Sunny stopped getting the newspaper a year after my Dad died. My Dad would have sooner skipped food than he would have his daily paper. But Mom said it saddened her to read about all the bad news.

In the final years of her life, she cut out TV news, too. She would only watch animal and cooking shows -- and the occasional old movie. She knew that what you let into your head would have an effect, and she only wanted to bring in happy and light.

I can't be that extreme -- especially since I'm a news hound, and like to know what's going on nationally, globally, and locally at all times. But I put up a wall between the bad news and my heart -- it's the only way.

This morning I met my friend Kenny for breakfast. He excitedly showed me pictures of the dream house he and Joelle are building up in Maine. They hope to become true snowbirds next year.

Kenny is one of my most politically liberal friends, and despises Trump. He contributes to Democratic political races all over the country. But he also separates politics from his personal peace of mind. He's wise.

Wifey has some friends who also despise Trump, and their feelings dampen the rest of their lives. To me, this is the height of foolishness. No politicians truly care about anyone but their own re-elections. To invest real heart into any of them is silly -- let alone allowing the state of things politically to affect your state of mind.

Tragedy and sadness comes to all of us. But to let it define us seems to me to be the most ungrateful act towards the Big Man we can perform -- failing to savor the gift of life.

Tomorrow D1 is sending Dr. Barry and me to see her client the Marlins play -- against my childhood team, and still Barry's team -- the Mets. The Marlins are the worst in baseball this year, and the Mets, despite having some great players, are having a bad year, too. I guess we can focus on that aspect of things.

But Barry and I will watch the game, share some toasts to our wonderful kids, and savor the time. In other words, we will stay out of the dark.