Send Not To Know For Whom The Bell Tolls...

So just yesterday I was in the office chatting with Stuart -- his Infiniti car was coming up for lease renewal, and he badly wanted to lease a Benz. Money wasn't flowing -- he just bought a car for his son -- and he was thinking about settling for an inferior car. I told him I always considered the words of my wise old boss Ed -- you can't afford NOT to get what you desire...

As if on cue, I came home and learned on FaceBook that a friend, Tom, had died suddenly. I was shocked and saddened, even though we had only met once. But his death was a loud AMEN to my message to Stu.

When D2 first moved to Greenwich Village, Wifey and I took turns visiting her and Jonathan -- Wifey to help her unpack, which I am bad at and loathe, and me to help her get a feel for her new 'hood by going to top restaurants and taking a literary pub crawl -- things I am good at and enjoy.

I was staying at the Walker Hotel a block from their apartment, and awoke one am to wait for D2. Coffee was served at the bar. A fellow was sitting there, already drinking a screwdriver. He wasn't drunk, but I joked that I envied him -- I rarely drank until later in the day, and he was a pro.

He laughed, and said he was "preparing" for his day ahead -- he was squiring his elderly mother around the City -- seeing a matinee on Broadway -- and he needed a little help from vodka before embarking on that task.

I got it. When I used to take my inlaws for lunch, I would order martinis as SOON as we sat -- the better to endure my father in law's onslaught -- may he rest in peace.

We continued to talk, and had an immediate connection. We were about the same age -- he had grown up in Jersey, and I on LI -- but he recently returned from a long stay in Colorado -- he had become a successful realtor, and was returning to the NE to care for his aging parents. Dad was in a nursing home, but Tom was going to spring him, and live with and care for both parents.

We talked nonstop for an hour about growing up in the 70s -- about NYC, Miami, and the West. We talked politics -- his and mine were the same -- socially liberal but conservative in other ways. We talked religion -- he was raised Catholic, but had lapsed -- I was raised socially Jewish, and was still searching.

I was married for a long time. He had recently reconnected with his boyfriend -- a Latin guy 10 years younger than he -- handsome -- we exchanged pictures on our phones.

And then D2 arrived, and we three continued our talk. The Ds always correctly point out that I'm a terrible dresser, and I took exception: Tom and I were both wearing jeans with untucked shirts. But D2 and Tom pointed out that his jeans were very cool ones, well pressed, and my clothes looked like I had pulled them from my overnight bag -- this was true.

We all laughed about the playing out of the classic Queer eye for the straight guy.

We said our goodbyes, and became FaceBook friends. And we'd comment often on our pages. I invited Tom to visit in Miami, and I really meant it. I could tell from his FB posts that he had many and varied friends, and they were close. I also followed on his journey of providing loving care for his parents.

He loved when I told him that caring for elderly parents was a "Top 5" Commandment.

And then I saw a post that he died yesterday, "unexpectedly." I assume the cause will come out. He seemed perfectly healthy.

Still, I was really saddened, though we only met in person once. I knew he was a good guy -- loving and caregiving to his parents -- seeming to enjoy his times with his partner.

It just proves that, as the Henley song goes, in a NY minute -- everything can change. I hope Stu gets the Benz, and drives me around in it. And I get to see him enjoy it.