Staying Put

One of the things I've learned about being married for over three decades is that women get restless. In Wifey's case, she worked for many years, raised our Ds, and is now in another stage of her life. Over the past year, she keeps saying she needs "change," and for her that has meant moving. She is "tired of the suburbs" and thinks we ought to go somewhere we can walk to things -- maybe Coconut Grove, or maybe to Morningside, which would be right next to D1 and Joey.

The problem is, I LOVE living where we do now. I truly feel I have found a special home, a true oasis from the craziness of modern life, a near acre property where I stroll each morning and feel like Jay Gatsby in a tropical setting. We have a gate at the front of the driveway, and each time I return home from far or near, it's as if my mother is welcoming me back into her arms. We've been here nearly 18 years -- the longest time I've ever lived in any one house. I really, really, really do not wish to move.

Part of the problem is my fear of sharing part of my Dad's fate. In 1979 my Mom was also restless, and she surprised Dad and me by returning from a trip to Florida to move her mother into a nursing home and announcing she had bought a condo in Delray -- we were moving. Dad loved Florida, and after he convinced me to come here as well, for college, he was happy with the change.

But he could never stand the military barracks-like condo Mom chose -- only since her brother and two sisters had bought there as well. My Dad had visited a retired customer of his at Admiral's Port, in what is now Aventura -- that was his speed -- upscale (at the time) building with a view of Biscayne Bay. But instead he went along with my Mom's call, and never liked living in Kings Point. Fortunately, he only had to put up with it for three years, as he died young.

The lesson for me, though, is as much as I wish to please Wifey, when my gut tells me I don't want to go along with something, I'm going to listen to it.

Part of the problem is the absurdly high prices in Miami. As I wish to have the freedom to work less in the future, I told Wifey I would NOT buy a place with very high real estate taxes. That would mean a house, still 7 figures, but half what our current house is now worth. And, it turns out, these days, in Morningside, that means a non-renovated, tiny place.

I see myself there, the first day, lamenting some annoying neighbor, and kicking myself for leaving Pinecrest.

Well -- the other day, we had a breakthrough -- Wifey has agreed we can stay at Villa Wifey. Coincidentally, USA Today published a list of the best cities to live in each of the 50 states, and our village was their choice for Florida. And for good reason.

The compromise (isn't there always a compromise in a long marriage?) is that Wifey gets to totally re-decorate. It's probably time -- I read that houses ought to get that done every 10 years or so, and we're already way past that. If it means we happily stay here, I'm all in.

I checked WAZE yesterday, and in times of lower traffic, we can make it door to door from our house to D1 and Joey's in 31 minutes. Yes -- not as convenient as the 5 minute trip Joey's parents have, but certainly not a big deal to me.

So if we're blessed to become grandparents, I will happily make the drive as often as Wifey wishes. And dare I dream into the future -- well, sitting at my pond with a grandkid, explaining a bit about Miami biology and ecology -- that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

I never forget how lucky we are that this is a "problem" for us -- a truly "First World" problem, as the writers call it.

Still, it gives me some inner peace to know that, for now at least, we are staying put.

The other night, after Wifey's agreement, we stood out on our balcony in the cool evening air. The sound was...crickets. Looking East, we could see many stars. It was so...peaceful.

Wifey agreed she could "rough it" for the coming years.  So hopefully no more deluge of texts and emails showing condos and houses for sale, all of which I just delete and tell Wifey I reviewed carefully.

I look forward to the continued comical sound of squawking peafowl. I look forward to being able to NOT see neighbors when I so choose. I look forward to staying in a home that I truly fell in love with in 2000, and has been so good to us as we raised our family here.

It really gives me some peace of mind.