Gratitude

So last night I was out with an old friend who well knows one of my former employees. The employee was with us when we started the firm, and was a single mother under a load of credit card debt. Paul had an idea, and I went along:  we paid off the entire debt, which was, as I recall, in the thousands, and gave her ONE card, telling her if she went into debt again, that would be it for her. But we wanted her full attention, and knew if she worried about all she owed, she would be unfocused.

She cried, with thanks to us. I mean -- who else would do that for an employee as a firm was starting out?  And as the years went by, we bonused her -- a LOT. She was a person who could barely write a sentence in English, but was good with the clients. I remember our accountant, my brother in law, gathering for our year end meeting, and asking Paul and I if we had lost our minds or were sleeping with this employee -- given the huge bonus we gave her. Neither, we said -- we had promised her if the firm did well, so would she, and we kept our word.

Well -- those days came up with our friend and the employee. The employee said -- no -- we never really paid her that well. Her salary was below average.  Yes -- the firm did very well, but we weren't really so generous. My friend knew this was complete malarkey -- the employee did so well with us, she was able to retire early and start her own business.

I've been seeing this more and more lately. In the words of the great Pete Townshend -- people forget.

So I guess the point is, it's folly to be generous if you expect gratitude. You rarely get it.

Years ago, I gave a young family an annual pass for a local aquarium, since the little girl had expressed an interest in marine biology. Months later, I asked if they were using it. The girl's Dad said "Yeah -- we go all the time, but the pass you bought didn't include the dolphin swim, and we had to pay that on our own, and it was a LOT of money."

I was floored. Ain't no one ever bought my kids a membership like that, and the very last thing I would have done if they had was even a peep about the gift's shortcomings.

No matter. Those who believe in the Big Man tell us that ultimately, all gratitude must go only to God.

And I indeed thank the Big Man daily -- even several times per day -- and ask him for continued blessings for my family and friends.

I get no joy from buying material things. Wifey was kidding me last night about a new Keurig I bought online -- and only because the 7 year old one we had had begun letting some of the coffee particles get into the mug.  Wifey asked if I had shopped around for the machine -- I had not -- just went on Jet.com and ordered it. I reminded Wifey I shop so little in a year, other than meals and travel, that if I overpaid $20 for the Keurig it was really no big deal.

Earlier in the evening, I had stopped at a local Walgreen's, to buy some travel sized contact lens solution for our upcoming trip to Texas. I noticed a sunburned homeless guy on the corner -- holding a sign begging for money.

I walked over to him, and handed him some money, and shook his hand. He asked my name, and I told him "Dave." We was "Thomas," he said in what sounded like a Kentucky accent, "Thomas Grayson Junior." I wished him luck, and told him to stay safe on the streets. And he asked God to bless me.

And for that, I felt genuine gratitude, and was honestly very thankful to him.