Acceptance Letter

Back in 2005 and 2009, our household was in a state of anticipation awaiting acceptance letters for the Ds' colleges.  In D1's case, she applied early decision and was readily accepted to UF, so the process was simple and she went about enjoying her senior year of high school. They did away with UF early decision by the time D2 was ready, so she got to enjoy learning she was accepted at Michigan and Maryland before Gatorland told her she was welcome there, too.

As my friends with younger kids reached college, I shared in that same anticipation with them.  If friends involved themselves with younger women, the process continued -- lots of talk about coming college decisions in the next few years.

So I thought I was past that, but there was still another to go:  acceptance into Medicaid for my ancient suegra.  She moved into the Palace March of '17, and we've been paying for it, other than the amount she gets from Social Security and German Reparations payments, which cover less than half the cost.

We learned that Medicaid started a new program:  they pay some of the cost of an ALF, which they previously never did, in hopes of keeping people in those cheaper facilities longer, thereby saving the cost of the crazy expensive nursing homes.  Nursing Home at the Palace is now near $8000 per month.

So Wifey began the arduous process of applying for her mother.  It took months -- gathering all documents, having doctors affirm that indeed my mother in law, now 93 and a half, needs a lot of assistance.  Wifey had multiple meetings and conference calls, and finally, today, learned that my suegra has been accepted.

The State will now pay about $1200 - $1250 per month, money we therefore don't have to pay.  Hey -- $15 k per year of after tax dollars will be much more happily spent -- vacations, meals, etc...

Medicaid will also pay for prescription drugs not covered by Medicare, and stuff like adult, um, undergarments. Those things get costly.

Of course, having your kids get accepted into college is far better than having your elderly parents accepted into Medicaid -- but for empty nesters like us, it's what we have going on.

Wifey and I have become experts at dealing with declining and dying elderly parents. My Mom came first, then her father, and now the final one on our plate, my mother in law.

In the past two days I spoke at length with two friends now dealing with the same issues -- and it sucks.  You have to transform yourself, mentally and emotionally from the child to the parent, essentially.  Some do it better -- I had zero problem doing it, probably because I had to become my Mom's protector way back in '82 when my Dad died.

Wifey had challenges with her mother -- since my suegra is such a strong willed and stubborn woman.  But after Wifey realized many of her mother's desires and wishes were nonsense, she finally made the transition -- and now does it well.

As I told my friends now dealing with their aging and failing mothers -- we always have to remember, caring for parents is a Top 5 Commandment.

So for us, in our house, it was acceptances into UF and FIU School of Public Health for D1, and UF and UF Business School for D2.  Now the last acceptance, for my suegra, is Florida Medicaid and residence at the Palace.  Ah, aging...