At Least Read My Statement

Like many professionals who have been lucky enough to make a few extra shekels, I have turned over the years to "financial advisers, " who are brokers charging a fee to do what you can do yourself. This is particularly true today, when financial information is instantly available to anyone with a computer.

I winnowed my use of managers to two -- one who has actually done very well, and takes the time to really research stuff before recommending it to me, and another, the ex wife of a college friend who inherited my accounts at her investment bank when a former broker left.

I'm too skeptical to trust any one person with my hard earned money.  I guess folks who love what they do always figure they can keep on doing it if their investments tank. Not me.  I always had a plan as a lawyer -- make as much as I could, stash it away, and give myself freedom from having to do it full time as I aged. I figured by now, I'd have been out of the gig for several years -- but I'm still at it for lack of anything else productive to do.  But protecting the savings is paramount to me.

So my main guy handles about 20% of our funds. The only problem with him is that he's the classic cobbler with shoe-less kids -- he's personally broke.  He had a few setbacks, and never took a firm hand with his family -- allowing his kids to stay in expensive private schools, keeping up country club memberships, dealing with extended family issues -- so now when we go to lunch, he pays cash -- his credit card company sued him for nearly $40K, and I assume he no longer has a card.  So why would I let him still manage my money?

I made sure I was doing business with a larger house -- his employer -- and have in writing guarantees from them that they'll stand by any losses. So if my man decided it's time to hi-tail it out of here, as my friend Paul said, that would be a boon to me -- I could bring a claim against the bank and probably collect damages on top of the principal taken.  So for now I keep doing business with him -- but under a very watchful eye -- I check my account daily.

My other "F/A" manages very little of my money.  I keep paying her bank really out of inertia and friendship more than anything else. But yesterday I got an email that annoyed me.  She writes every so often to give me "heads up" about things in my account -- like bonds that are maturing.  I know which bonds are maturing. So the cheerful email said that a particular issue was coming due today. The problem is, another part of that issue was coming due as well -- my crack FA clearly only glanced at my account instead of really reading it.

I emailed back and corrected her. I know she was a bit shamed -- she should be. It's one thing to charge me for a service I no longer need -- at least do it accurately! 

I'm trimming the account with her bank, little by little, and probably by year's end will be done -- no one takes the time to handle one's own money better than its owner -- or ought to, anyway.

I joked to D2 yesterday that I had become a money manager -- since I manage the Ds' accounts, and most of Wifey and my portfolios. I need to figure out a way to charge myself for my efforts.

Of course, I never for a moment cease to be grateful for these classic "first world problems." I realize how lucky I am that these are the issues I have to deal with. And I never forget that things can change in a NY minute.

My Dad retired in 1979 -- after carefully planning his future non working finances. He bought his Delray condo for cash, and got a lump sum profit sharing benefit. In those days, bank savings rates were near 20% (I think he actually got one CD for nearly that amount), and living well but modestly, including Social Security, he was confident about his  and Mom's financial future.

But then he got scared -- thinking he'd have to fully financially support a grandson whose father was allergic to work. I remember coming home late from college years partying, in 1982, and finding him pacing -- telling me he was probably going to have to work again.  I asked why he was responsible for the life choices of a then 34 year old daughter, and he scoffed -- he was responsible for his family, he said -- that was that.

Well, he dropped dead a few months later -- leaving financial, and all worries, behind.  And his widow, my Mom, did just fine -- she was generous but not of the belief she had to fully support anyone but herself -- and there was enough money left from Dad's profit sharing check, in '79, that we had to open a special needs trust for Mom to handle her final 11 months in a nursing home.  My siblings and I inherited her condo -- bought for $39K and sold 34 years later for $45K, and Medicaid liens took the remaining cash.

So you never know -- but as my father's son, I plan as much as I can. Wifey says this is all way over her head, so I have to stay alive. Fortunately, one son in law is a CPA, and our hopefully future other son in law is a financial analyst -- they can worry about all this.

But for now -- I run the money. I just wish the people I have helping me would actually take more care in their jobs.