Unsocial Media

As a foot note to my Ds intervention, D2 added "... And get off FaceBook!"  She figures the less time I spend there perusing the musings of my friends, the more time I'll be moving. She's probably right.

But for now, that addiction continues, since I'm a frustrated comedy writer, like several of my dear friends (Norman) and FB gives me an outlet. And, last weekend it cost me a FB friend.

This is the tale of a closeted lesbian I'll call Raquel, since that's her name. We go way back -- all the way to college, where we entered the U in the same class, though she was always "pre law" and I was pre med.  She is a Miami Cuban girl out of central casting for "Que Pasa, USA" -- smart, attentive, very Catholic, and politically VERY conservative.

She skipped a college grade and started the U law school one year ahead of me, was on law review, and graduated and joined a top Miami firm.  She soared, as this firm demanded tons of hours from its associates, and she seemed to have nothing but time for her career.  She was SO dedicated to the firm, that hilarity ensued -- she would invite all of the Jewish associates to her home for Noche Buena -- they had nowhere else to go, and according to a friend of mine who attended one year, it became known as the firm's Jewish Christmas -- more Jews standing around eating roasted pork than any respectable rabbi would ever like to know about.

Anyway -- we were never close, but ran into each other over the years.  She went to Europe for awhile, and became somewhat of a big shot in Republican politics.  I was actually kind of proud of her accomplishments, as a fellow Cane, even though she professed the staunch Catholicism and resulting hypocrisy that comes from being closeted.

No one ever knew her to be in a relationship, but there were two events that confirmed my suspicions. One time, in the Grove, I was out to lunch with fellow friends of hers. We spotted her eating at a table with a VERY butch looking woman. She noticed us, and came over -- her companion disappeared. My friend inquired about her dining companion, and Raquel said "What?  I'm here alone!"

Another time I saw her cannoodling, if that's the word, with a woman in a local bar.  I went to say hello, and same drill -- the companion bolted.

So I guess gays trying to be staunch Republicans have issues.  But still -- Raquel friended me on FB, and we'd comment on each other's posts. Hers all revered all things Bush, Reagan, and Rubio. She even went to the absurd length of commenting how classy Melania Trump was -- to me, the living version of Natasha Fatale from Bullwinkle.

Barbara Bush died last week, and Raquel posted glowing terms about the woman GOP maven Roger Stone called a "vindictive drunk."  I'd never take shots about a dead FLOTUS.

Raquel posted a picture of the George Bush Library.  I didn't know it was where they buried the old broad, and commented with a tired, making fun of anti intellectual libraries joke I heard years ago -- : "There was a fire there last night, and BOTH books burned. Worse -- one hadn't even been colored in yet." The first time I heard it, my professor and friend Steve told it about the UF Library in Gville.

Sophomoric, I know, but I AM a wise ass on FB.  Well, Raquel was outraged, and said I was Ignorant and Cruel.  I apologized for offending her, said I thought it was just humor directed at a library, but realized now that closeted lesbians can't appreciate humor.  Nah -- I left that last part out.

And then I "unfriended" her -- she can't call me names, even if those names are accurate, and I indeed AM ignorant and cruel.  I guess when it comes to understanding how great a president Bush was, I remain ignorant.

So it's adios Raquel. D2 is correct -- I ought to get off FB. At least now, my settings are not public, so I don't invite the kind of perfidy I received when someone published a post of mine about anti-circumcision protesters. Now I have to know who you are before you can see my stuff.

I wish Raquel well. I hope she comes out of the closet -- we're both near 57, and living that way must take a toll on one's soul.  If she comes out, she can freely display bikini shots of Ann Coulter in her office. Now that would be something.