Thanksgiving Passings

So my dear friends Alex and Danielle had a death on Tuesday -- Danielle's beloved grandmother Livia.  She was quite a woman -- a Hungarian Jew who made it through the Holocaust, and came to the US and had an amazing family -- two sons, Bob and Tom, and 5 wonderful grandkids, and 2 great grandkids.

Our family has become very close to hers, and I got to know her a bit over the years.  She was strong, and happy, and always most appreciative of the many blessings that came her way.  In her final years, she moved in with Bob and his family, and they took sterling care of her.  I was a good and devoted son to a declining mother, but Bob made me look like an amateur.  He saw to his mother's every need.

The funeral was yesterday, followed by the Shiva.  We were invited, and I gave the Ds the choice -- D2 is only here for a few days.  The Ds said there wasn't really any choice -- we had to go, and so we did, and last night was a true celebration of a life well lived.

The rabbi,a French American, led services outside, under a gorgeous Miami Beach sky, on the water.  It was truly moving.  The Ds and Wifey and I were proud to be part of that amazing family. And, the deli food, well, it was pretty delicious, too.

We dropped off D1, and then D2 asked to be dropped on Brickell to visit with some friends, and I noticed I missed three calls from Eric.  Eric never pocket calls.  I called him, and heard some more sad news -- his mother Norma had died that night.

I was saddened and shocked.  Norma was 82, and had chronic health issues, but nothing that seemed like the end was imminent. Apparently she had a fall in her Pembroke Pines condo, and called the paramedics, but didn't want to go to the hospital,  When Eric didn't hear from her, he called the police and headed over.  Sure enough, she had died in her condo.  The funeral is tomorrow.

When I moved to Miami and became friends with Eric, Norma and her husband Marvin became second parents to me.  I adored them and they adored me.  Marvin passed over 10 years ago, and since then Norma has lived alone in her apartment with her beloved Dachshund.  That was a great story -- her place allowed residents to move in with a dog, but not replace it when the dog died.  Norma flouted the rules -- she was NOT going to live dog-less. So the joke became that her dog was well over 25 years old...

Norma was the classic bubbe.  She LIVED for her kids and grandkids.  She was blessed to see her oldest granddaughter Jen get married last May.  She was beaming then -- Wifey got to talk to her at length, about life, and her family.  Her granddaughter's wedding was truly a banner day for her.

Just a few weeks ago she visited New England to attend her brother's grandson's Bar Mitzvah.  Eric said he knew that would be her last visit -- she struggled to get around.  I told him it reminded me of my Mom's trip to LA when she was 85 -- she had a bad fall at a friend's house, and I just knew then that travel was over for Sunny.

But Norma was fortunate to have the best kind of death: no hospitals, or nursing homes, or slow and steady and sad decline.  She had, really, a very easy passing.

Her funeral is tomorrow, in West Broward.  We'll gather with Eric and Dana and their kids and surround them with love.

When Marvin passed, I told Eric that if there was a heaven, I hoped he and my Dad shared a pastrami sandwich, and kvelled about their families.  Same with Norma -- I like to think she runs into my Mom, and the two of them share tales...my son the doctor, my son the lawyer...

Of we three best college friends, Eric, Barry, and me, and our 6 beloved parents, now only one is still with us -- Barry's mother Beverly.  She's much younger -- had Barry when she was only 19 -- and hopefully she'll be with us for many years to come.  Barry is having her over today for T Day -- I know he'll savor her presence -- Barry's beloved Dad Sy died years ago, too.

So we give thanks, today, though the day is tinged with sadness for those we've lost.  Still -- I thank Norma a LOT for having a baby back in '61 who would become my brother of another mother.

Brava, Norma -- a life well lived.  In the end, that's the most any of us can hope for.