When FaceBook (tm) Works the Right Way

D2 has me pegged -- I'm a bit too addicted to FaceBook.  I have a great curiosity about people, too much time on my hands, and, probably worst of all, I'm a frustrated comedian, and FB gives me an outlet.  I'm the second funniest poster I know -- Norman is funniest.

Sometimes FB is annoying, like the time I posted about a bunch of idiots I saw on US 1 passionately against circumcision.  I made a smarmy comment, but made the setting "open," and one of my FB "friends" shared it, with ultra Lib morons, and next thing I knew there were a slew of comments from strangers saying I was, essentially, advocating child abuse.  I have a feeling I know the culprit -- the ultra lefty son of an old lawyer friend -- a kid who despite being Jewish is very anti Israel -- but I can't be sure it's him.  In the end, it was actually a funny episode, although D2 fears one of these zealots might try to come find me.

But at its best, FB lets old friends connect, and maybe renew friendships, and so it was yesterday.  I've known Kathy since we were 5 -- quiet and smart pretty Irish girl -- and we were classmates all through junior high and high school.  She was VERY shy later on, and I really only knew her to say hello, but she did go to prom with my brilliant but socially uneasy buddy Ken -- I think it was a one off date.

We met at our 20th reunion, and I learned she had gone to Dartmouth Med School, and was a Peds professor at U Va.  I was impressed -- not too many MacArthur High alums had done that well -- we had lots of sweat hogs, as the 70s show Kotter called us, and the typical alum went to a little college if at all and ended up working at Grumman or maybe as a cop or fireman.  Medical professors were rare as hens' teeth.

But FB connected us, and the other day she messaged me -- she was coming to Delray to visit her 90 year old father, and could we meet for lunch?  We could, and as she had become a "rural girl" living in Virginia, could we meet in the middle, rather than have her negotiate Miami.  I picked a place on Las Olas called Mango's.  I'm so NOT a 954 guy -- I learned it closed quite a while ago.  So I remembered a place called YOLO -- I met my California friend Cheryl there years ago, and we set the date.

It was delightful.  Kathy lives near UVA, where her husband is a Psych professor.  She has a boy and girl -- a senior and rising sophomore at William and Mary.  I told her an old friend of mine from the U was Provost there -- she was going to have her daughter look him up.  Kathy left the academic world after growing disgusted at the dysfunction -- apparently even the prestigious school of Tom Jefferson is a hotbed of silliness and pettiness.

Now she's in private practice -- a mostly poor patient population -- and she loves it.  She told me about a new tick borne disease she's been seeing -- the toxin makes patients fatally allergic to meat.  Really.  I told her if I got so bitten, I might as well just take some propofol with my final NY Strip and say goodbye...she said she understands.

We compared family notes -- her mom died young, of cancer, and her Dad remarried.  He lives with his younger wife, 85, and had quite a burden for many years.  Her sister, one year older, was drug addict and mental patient, and Kathy's Dad lived to care for her.  She got arrested often, and then decided 5 years ago, she needed a gun, and, this being Florida, bought one legally despite her mental illness.  Kathy's oldest brother is a retired LI cop, and the family had a madcap tale about getting the sister to give up her guy.

Last year, her sister ended the misery -- she stepped in front of a Tri Rail train.  Kathy said she picked Kathy's birthday to do it.  Kathy said her sister taught her that just because someone is psychotic, it doesn't mean they can't also be a selfish asshole, and so her sister was...

But most of our shared tales and wisdom was happy -- her kids seemed destined for good, but varied futures -- her daughter is a passionate environmentalist, who LOVES plants.  To Kathy, all plants look alike.  Her son is studying business and physics.

She told me another classmate, Debbie, who attended Cornell with Kathy (turns out there were three from our class who went to Cornell), had done the best.  She moved to SF, and was working for hotels when she met a nice fellow who went on to found Travelocity.  They're now living a rather charmed life in the Bay Area.

So there was a reason for Cornell, Kathy said.  Back in the day, they had an Agriculture School, which was much easier to get into than the typical Ivy League college.  Kathy and the other two applied and got in, and then transferred to the "regular" Cornell.  All of these machinations escaped me back in '78 when I applied to college -- for me it was Stony Brook, or Hofstra, and then, at my Dad's urging, a place still sort of known as Sun Tan U.  I'm so happy I chose the last.

Anyway, we're going to keep in touch.  Kathy invited Wifey and me to VA -- she says there are tons of cool things to see in Charlotesville, and she promises to NOT make us take long hikes  -- she and her husband are outdoors types.  Likewise, I told her next time she visits her Dad, bring her professor husband along, and let me be tour guide to the 305.  Hopefully she'll do it.

She attended the last reunion -- year 35 -- but I opted out.  The 20th turned me off -- most of the classmates I found onerous.  I keep in touch with those I like -- many of the others are sort of like the minor players on the "Sopranos."

But my friend Kenny really wants to attend our 40th -- coming up in two years.  I told Kathy we'd go -- maybe make a Hamptons weekend out of it, and go to whatever crappy hall or restaurant they hold the thing in.  I guess when you have a solidly Long Island past, to steal from Arthur Miller, attention must be paid.