I Wouldn't Join Any Club That Would Have Me As A Member

Ah, those classic words from one of my life's heroes, Groucho Marx.  Wifey and I just saw one of the Brothers' film clips at the Philly museum -- and though I knew the routine by heart, I still laughed out loud.  The nice lesbian Jewish couple watching next to us looked at me funny...

When Paul and I were active in practice, we were lucky to get recognized by a few lawyers guides.  Martindale Hubble gave us the highest "AV" rating, which I loved, only since my first boss, a virulent anti semite I'll call Dan, since that's his name, never rose above "BV."

We never bothered to seek entrance to any of these things, as most of our clients came from referrals from people who we knew very well, and didn't need to consult guides, but sometimes the guides were nice marketing tools.  One was the South Florida Legal Guide, or SFLG.  We made it in their first year, probably around 1998.  One time a prospective client wanted to meet us after another fellow, who I knew was not in the Guide.  I told the client to hire whomever they wanted, but I would only hire someone listed in the Guide.  We got the case...

Every year when the SFLG comes out, I look at it, assuming they'll finally leave us out.  We still practice, but not as vigorously as before, and we're certainly not charged for causing too much wear and tear on the steps of the local courthouses.  But, alas, we remain listed as always.

One of my pet peeves, which I share with Dr. Barry, is great fun making of people who take themselves too seriously, and think they're all that, and proudly so proclaim.

One of my FaceBook (tm) friends is one such fellow.  He's a lawyer I'll call Erv, since that's his name, and indeed he is wildly successful.  He's probably won more huge verdicts than just about anyone practicing today, and enjoys a great reputation.  But his FB pages always seem to feign humility, while clearly trumpeting his manifold accomplishments.

The other day he posted the cover of the latest SFLG, and commented along the lines that he was humbled to receive this great honor.  Literally hundreds of his friends and followers all complimented him.  I took this as an invite to have a bit of passive aggressive fun, as my friend Stuart would say.

I commented and went on and on, essentially saying that being included in the Guide was akin to winning a Nobel Prize -- but bigger.  I explained that it was the highest honor one can receive -- true acclaim by one's peers.  If one could be publicly honored by the US Supreme Court or included in the Guide -- well, chose the latter.

Erv's response was exactly as I expected: a simple thank you for my congratulations.  It was exquisite.  I would have been way impressed if he said something along the lines of "On second thought, the honor must not be so great if a has been like you is in the Guide with the likes of me."  Nah -- totally missed the inside joke.

So I so honor Groucho.  I hold the humble in high esteem.  A few weeks ago I had dinner with a friend up for four Grammy's this year -- and he kept changing the subject away from himself, and saying all he does is turn knobs on a board.  Neal is my kind of guy.  A Grammy is, as Biden said to Obama, a big F ing deal.  Not so much being in a local magazine that, while using peer reviews for its listings, exists by selling advertising by those so included.

Now that I'm in the mood, I may finally do something I've wanted to do for quite some time -- having business cards printed up with my name followed by "Super Genius," like Wiley E Coyote.  Super Genius is, in fact, a club I wish I could join...