Community Kerfuffle

So our friends Rabbi Yossi and his wife Nechama asked us to come show support at a hearing last night at the Kendall Zoning Board. They want to expand the synagogue Center, which is currently housed in a retrofitted house built in 1999. The programs, especially the awesome Friendship Circle, which pairs teen volunteers with special needs kids, typically autistic kids, literally has no space for meetings and get togethers. The local Zoning Board was created years ago when the Dade County Commission realized it couldn't deal with the thousands of local zoning matters throughout huge Miami Dade County, and creating a new group of commissions would exponentially increase opportunities for many more "volunteer" members to get paid off in kickbacks from developers. Ha. No -- it's probably true. Anyway, Rabbi Yossi tried to get an approval for expansion three years ago, and the surrounding neighbors went ape shit about too many entrances to parking lots, and the fear of 2nd story voyeurs peeking into their yards. So the Rabbi literally went back to the drawing board, and scaled back his plans, making the center one story and including only 2 entrances. The neighbors saw this huge compromise, wrote letters thanking him and Nechama for all they did for the community, and gave their agreement. Ha. As if! They went even more ape shit this time, as they realized the project was going to pass. So Wifey and I trudged to West Kendall to attend. The traffic really IS untenable. The trip from Pinecrest to where the meeting was held is a total of 7 miles from our house. It took nearly an hour, as rush hour traffic clogs all westbound routes to Kendall. I really don't get it -- seems to me better to have a smaller place closer to work than a 1/3 acre job costing you 2 hours of life each day, but whatever... The committee came to order. The Chair pointed out the sergeant at arms, a more muscular PitBull lookalike, and said he'd toss anyone who shouted or insulted. The first order of business was a variance asking for a bigger house on a lot. A developer asked for it. No one spoke in opposition, and it passed in 5 minutes.I'm pretty sure I saw the developer wink at the council as he left. Next up was out item. The Rabbi's attorney, a PCL (power Cuban lawyer), was thorough and well prepared. He basically explained that the request had come up before, the neighbors objected, so this time the objections were mollified. He had charts, and an architect, and a traffic engineer. Then he invited speakers in favor. 25 people spoke, most movingly and eloquently. The best were parents of the special needs kids, who explained that the Friendship Circle volunteers were the only normal contact their kids had. One father, who I know talked about being rejected by many very wealthy congregations when he sought religious instruction for his autistic son. Chabad welcomed the young man, and he was Bar Mitzvaed recently. A tall, very successful lawyer who I'll call Josephsberg, since that's his name, nailed it. He explained that we ALL would rather not have to wait as people in wheelchairs cross our paths, but doing do makes us human. He talked about getting stuck in traffic jams outside of St. Louis church, and how he loved it, because the members were inside as a true community... Then came the opposition. After hearing about teaching God, spiritually enhancing people, being a force of good in a world where directionless people shoot up movie theatres, and providing amazing comfort to special needs kids through an awesome teen volunteer program, the neighbors talked about, I'm not making this up, people cutting across their driveways. One engineer named Zamora, with an accent that said he must be an engineer in Guatemala, went on and on about how he photographed people parking on a swale, and "although he likes retarded kids, too," the program just doesn't belong in his 'hood. Now, the other three corners of the intersection where he lives have 2 huger churches and a bigger school, but this one under discussion, well... Then his very zaftig American wife got up, and said she likes special needs kids, too -- she even works at Miami Children's Hospital, but she walks often, and is almost run over...I said in a stage whisper to Wifey that she is on face a liar -- her corpulence showed she doesn't walk THAT often... And so it went. Puerility. Venality. At 10:30 the commission chair said "Basta!" and scheduled the absurdity to continue next month. On the way home, I told Wifey that as this concerns us, it tells me one thing: I really can't stand most people anymore. I can't suffer fools. I probably can never live in a condo, where even more fools will surround me. Hopefully the measure will pass, and my friend can continue the Work of the Lord in bigger surroundings. In 21 years in Miami, he and his wife have done more to improve the community that anyone else I can think of. As to the neighbors who oppose his mission, well... I hope all their lawns die.