F.O.S.

So yesterday the theme seemed to be poop. First, Wifey spent the day prepping for today's capsule endoscopy test, also called the pill cam. This might be the single coolest medical diagnostic test I've ever heard of.

After "clearing the way" with laxatives, you swallow a vitamin sized pill that has lights and cameras. You wear a belt, which is the receiver. As the pill makes its way on its fantastic journey, it transmits continuous photos, which the belt receiver picks up. The doc then inputs the data into a computer, which generates a full color movie of your ENTIRE digestive tract.

Contrary to what I jokingly told Wifey, you don't have to retrieve the camera. It makes its way into the septic tank, or sewer, where it will undoubtedly be discovered in thousands of years by future generations, who will then download the remaining images and decide that Wifey's intestines were the source of 21st century wisdom...

Anyway, I left for a few hours to meet with Lourdes and Carole, 2 of our banker friends. Lourdes reviewed my account, and explained in great detail why it made sense that I paid her bank to manage my money and get returns far below the S and P index...this shan't go on much longer, I decided.

But then our conversation at the Gables coffee shop turned to politics. Lourdes, lovely and earnest and out of Central Casting for Cuban Miami, explained that her parents, who fled Communism and Socialism, have a keen eye for knowing when government evil is brewing. And, all of this socialist stuff El Presidente Negro surely fits the bill...

Now, I'm no Obama lover. In fact, I'm thinking more and more that he's turned into Jimmy Carter, in my opinion the worst president in the past 100 years, but I can never, ever, pass up the chance to point out hypocritic bullshit...

I asked Lourdes how old her exile parents were. In their 60s...And so, I asked, being so ardently anti socialist, each month, when their SOCIAL (that bad word) Security checks come, or they get their MediCARE (another commie word) benefits, of course they dutifully take the checks outside and burn them in the cacha china?

Silence. Then..."But they WORKED and PAID..." I assured her that they've probably already taken more out than they put in, especially on the medical side.

The Cubans have a great expression for this: Come mierda 00literally "shit eater." Instead of saying a bullshit artisit is "full of shit," they claim he eats it...

I love tweaking the true believers --liberals, too. When Obama was running against Hillary, I found myself at my own dining room table, with some serious libs, supposedly feminists, who had decided to toss Hillary under the bus, in favor of the Illinois senator.

When I pointed this out, the evening went from pleasant discussion to outright post menopausal venom...I haven't had those folks over since then.

So, as the Fat Man said in the timeless book "House of God," when asked why he became a GI specialist: there's gold in shit.

I'm sure Wifey will be fine. I'm hoping we can get a DVD of her pill cam test. I will SO play it on a loop on our flat screen, next time we have a party.

It's like the Vapors' song, "Turning Japanese," where they sing about having a doctor taking pictures of their woman's insides as well as outsides...

So let there be less poop, both literal and figurative, today.