Bah, Early!

So the awful economy has caused yet another calamity: even earlier than usual holiday crap. I noticed some X mas and Chanukah decorations going up in the Sunniland parking lot right around Halloween. Now, as Thanksgiving approaches, the annoyance is in full swing.

A great debate is taking place in the retail world. Is it ok to open stores on T Day? This takes away a sacred day of celebration for the American family, all so that stores can make more money in advance of Black Friday. The answer is, of course, yes --some are opening T Day.

Some of my liberal, anti corporate, rich FaceBook (tm) friends are posting about boycotting Black Friday, to show support for the schleppers who have to work the Wal Marts and Targets instead of being home with their children. I posted that I WOULD boycott (I'd never be caught dead in a mall that day at any rate) but wished to preserve my right to listen to the Steely Dan song.

I guess my distaste with all things holiday goes back a long while. My parents never quite bought into the whole gifts at the holiday thing. My mother liked to proclaim that I got stuff I wanted all year -- it was silly to hide telescopes and bicycles for a special day. She was right, of course.

But then, we'd be invited to my brother in law's Irish family Christmas celebrations. I remember being about 9, and his brother Michael and sister Kathy sat around the tree, and were each given a PILE of toys. There was usually some pathetic thing, like a slinky, for me...

We'd leave the cigarette smoke filled split level house, into the chill LI December air, and get into our car. My parents would laugh at the whole scene, and I was expected to be in on the joke. I am now, of course, but at 9 or so, I was PISSED! I think then I understood what became one of my favorite expressions: "treated like the red headed stepchild..."

At home, there'd be an electric menorah, and maybe some latkes...In high school, my friend Debbie's wonderful Italian grandparents had a feast on Christmas Eve, and I was invited. We'd gorge ourselves on fresh seafood, and sausage and pasta. One year I went to midnight mass with them...waiting the whole time for the priest to call me to the front and ask me why my people had killed the man all of this hooplah was for. It never happened, luckily...

When the Ds were little, my sister the Queens Jewess made a bigger deal out of Christmas than any minister in Alabama dreamed of. The whole house was decorated with multiple trees, and entire minituare villages with twinkling lights and Christmas music (all the good songs were written by Jews, I'd tell my girls).

She and my brother in law would buy the Ds many gifts, and Wifey and I would spend the entire car ride home debriefing them about the holiday. Yes, they could keep the doll houses and stuffed animals, and thank their aunt and uncle for them, but, no, we didn't worship Jesus Christ...and somehow, in my sister's mind, the trees and lights and Christmas hams weren't about Jesus -- they were just "warm family expressions" that happened to coincide with the rest of the world celebrating...

One year, after my rabbi friend brainwashed me that attending these events was tantamount to sending our little Jewish girls to Lourdes Academy --we fled to the Bahamas over Xmas week. The Ds had a blast, and I paid high season rates for our room at Atlantis, and we visited Graycliff with my partner Paul and his kids and some of their friends...

Looking back, this move was an insult to my sister and brother in law that marked the beginning of some hurt feelings that took many years to get over.

I asked Rabbi Yossi if missing a meal around a Christmas tree was worth all the hurt and schism it caused in my family. He responded: "Absolutely!"

And so I don't go much for the Jewish stuff, either...

And so, here comes another season to endure. I rarely go shopping, so I don't have to get annoyed at the malls, and, as usual, December 25th we WILL honor the birthday of the Ds and my own, personal savior: Wifey.

D1 won't be here. She's planning to go to Indiana with her boyfriend and his family. I'm sure D2 will be busy with her boyfriend and other friend, too.

So I'll take Wifey to a movie, and then, probably, to Tropical Chinese, where several generations of Miami Jews can be found on December 25th...

And soon enough, it will be 2012, and the music will fade...