Why Stuff is Better

Wifey ran into an old college friend the other day. She hadn't spoken to her in years, though at one point they spent a lot of time together. She had become an antiques collector.

Wifey asked about her family. The woman had a son, soon after college, and he's now over 30. He had become troubled, and separated himself from the friend. She said she rarely spoke to him, and had "accepted that." But then she said something that took Wifey aback: "To tell you the truth, I get more joy from my antiques. I spend hours around them each day, and they give me such happiness. I imagine the stories that surround each piece --many came from very rich families. They never let me down."

I thought about this lady, and I get her point. People are messy. They DO let you down. They break your heart. There's surely a logic to walling yourself away from them, certainly at the level of deep feelings...

At the same time, my sister in California is going through another crisis with her son, a young man nearly 29 who brings her much worry and sadness. Just when my nephew's life seems on the upswing, he finds a way to fall again --breaking his mother's heart more each time.

My heart breaks for my sister. No matter what --she's his mother, and will never have him out of her soul. She does all she can to help him, and, after many years, it takes a terrible toll. But there's no choice for her. It's who she is. She's a mother.

My sister has no capacity to wall herself off from her son, emotionally. Wifey and I are the same. We're so blessed that the Ds have been on a positive journey, but at the unpleasant bumps, we're there. I can't conceive of anything happening that would change that. As Wifey says "Always loved them, always will."

Meanwhile, all I can do is hope my nephew finds his way. He's still so young, and has so much to give. More, though, I wish him stability and peace to bring that to my sister, who has suffered so long with him.

Back at Wifey's meeting: her old friend looked at her watch, and said she had to run. A maintainence crew was due at her warehouse to do some work, and the lady had to make sure they didn't break anything, or worse, steal anything. "If I lost a favorite piece," she told Wifey, "it'd break my heart."

To her, the stuff is precious, more than people...