Senseless

I went on Facebook (TM) this morning, and the Ds' friend Andrea had posted some photos of Zander. It's coming up to the one year anniversary of his suicide. This still sickens me.

Zander was a teenaged Richard Corrie. He was tall, extremely handsome, athletic, and intellectually gifted. He was also gentle and sensitive --he counted many young women, D2 included, as folks who prized their brother/sister relationship with him.

I got to know him somewhat over the years, when he visited D2. He was so articute and respectful. I really liked him. I wish I got to know him better.

Early in his senior year, he passed out from a drug overdose. His parents got him into a rehab program, and he seemed to come through fine. He started FSU last Fall.

Apparently, his depression came back with a vengeance. He called his parents and said he wasn't coming home for the Winter break. After a few days of no contact, his folks called the Tally police. They found him alone in his apartment, gone from an overdose.

D2 got the news by cell phone as we were returning from a family cruise. She wailed in the ship's lounge. It was awful.

Zander's folks are very spiritual. Mom's Jewish; Dad's Christian. Dad is an accomplished writer and college professor. The memorial services were, according to D2, poignant, moving, and beautiful.

D2 keeps a photo of Zander and her in her room, above her calendar. I see his handsome face whenever I go in to flip the month. It brings me shivers.

A young man for whom the world was truly his oyster. Obviously his inner demons were intolerable to him, and he silenced them, I guess, in the only way he knew.

Nearly a year's gone by, and our community is still bereft. A promising young person's death robs us all. We wonder what could have been and will never be.

I guess to some there's the romantic notion of "forever young." I get that. My experience with an ancient mother shows we CAN live too long. But 18 -with all that promise? What a terrible waste.

I hope Zander's family is getting along ok. The too many clients I've had who've lost a child all seem to, somehow. They never get over it, of course, but they endure.

I see that Zander's friends still keep him strong in their hearts, and heads.

What a shining star he was --gone far too soon from the sky.