Bah! Holidays!

The so called most wonderful time of the year is here. Yay. The only thing I like about it is college bowls and cooler weather.

My partner Paul is puzzled why I, a usually cheerful, non Scrooge type of guy, is so annoyed at the whole scene. I guess it's the crass materialism of it all, and the thought that, somehow, you show love to others by buying them tchockes.

My sister Sue handles estate sales, and has learned a very basic thing about things: they rarely hold their value. Of course, there's the occasional treasure, but most "collectibles" get sold after their owners die for maybe 2 cents on the dollar.

So, the stuff has nearly zero intrinsic value.

And still, the paper is filled with stories about people lined up to buy, well, crap for their friends and relatives. Most of the girls in my office are in this group --they go into debt buying electronics and clothes and what-ever for nieces and nephews and co workers.

Not me. I can't stand being told when to be generous and when it's ok not to be. I much prefer plucking a $50 bill out of my friend Barry's kids' ears when I see them --even in July!

So --as usual, no "holiday shopping " for me this year.

PAul and I will do our usual around the office: we get a stack of $50s, and hand them to the security guards, tellers, car parkers, etc... They seem to appreciate the cash more than cheap wine or ugly ties. I figure --why should THEY suffer just because I'm a closet Grinch.

This year, fortunately, we'll be on a cruise during Christmas. The most we'll have to put up with is the incessant holiday music playing in the bars. The tequila shots I intend to share with Eric and Barry ought to drown those out.

And, as my friend Jeff once pointed out, December 25th IS a very holy day: Wifey's birthday. She shares my disdain for the Holidays; she's even more militant than I am. She quicky turns the radio dial when Christmas music comes on. But, since she IS my personal and true savior, we'll honor HER birthday as we sail around.

So, I'll continue to wish everyone a Merry Whole Damn year, and try to spread good cheer the other 12 months. As for December? I get to lay back --there's enough cheesy good will in the air already.