Expired Food

As Grandma Sunny nears 90, wifey and I committed to visiting her at least twice per month. She's no longer driving, and when we come, we take her to lunch and shopping.

Today, Wifey and I arrived at her condo, and Grandma was looking well. We took her to a local deli, and ended up driving 2 ladies home, who had been waiting for the bus. One of them, a 60 something retired teacher from Boston, just moved to Grandma's condo. She liked living there, but remarked "it's not very attractive here." Talk about an understatement! Grandma's condo is "middle prison barracks," with huddled Bauhaus 2 story buildings in a sea of asphalt parking. She like it there, though...

After lunch, she asked me to retrieve something from one of her litchen cabinets. I did, and noticed a box of sugar with a price tag from a store that went bankrupt during the Reagan Administration. That discovery led to a major cleanout.

Grandma had food in her cabinets and freezer and refrigerator with expiration dates ranging from 6 months ago to one, that expired in 1999!!!!

As Wifey would retrieve an item, she'd ask "Grandma --when did you buy this?" "Oh Wifey -- I JUST bought that!" "Really? Then how come it expired in 2001?"

Three hours later, I hauled 3 huge garbage bags full of old crackers, medicines, canned goods with rusted bottoms --you name it! There were spices in plastic bottles that had evolved into completely new organic materials. There was a jar of Tabasco sauce from 1998. In case I had wondered --11 year old Tabasco turns a mud colored brown!

When we had finished, Grandma was actually happy. Much of the accumulated items were there because she can no longer reach them in her cabinets. Some she was just too lazy to through out. Much of it was her revulsion at "wasting food," as a result of being a child of the Great Depression.

Whatever the reason, she now has cleaned out cupboards, and is looking forward to her next trip to Publix, to replace her things. Fortunately, she has a nice friend named Louise who will take her, and haul the bags for her. She'll stock up next week, she said.

We laughed the whole time as we found items from the 80s and 90s. Finally, Grandma said to Wifey: "It's not my fault these things expired. I've lived much longer than I was supposed to!"

Nah! She's chugging along very nicely, as she nears the big nine oh! She'll buy some green bananas next trip, and be around to see them ripen.