Venerable

Last weekend I had a delightful phone conversation with my Aunt Ann --95 and well and living in Jackson Heights, NY. My sister Sue keeps in touch with her, and gave her my number. We chatted and caught up --I don't think we had spoken in over 8 years. It was great to hear how well she was.

She still keeps her house and cooks for my cousin Steve, who is 57. Steve is like a character out of a John Cheever story --a gentleman bachelor who never married --and keeps busy when he's not working as a n accountant with hobbies.

Ann's voice came through loud and clear. She's like my father -- a self educated person, who keeps advised of issues local and national. Her husband Jordan died in 1969, and she never remarried, but worked for many years and then volunteered teaching English to Russian immigrants.

In one of my life's regrets, I've never been very close to my extended family. Ann visited my mother in Florida a few times after my father died, but the visits withered away. I asked Ann about my other first cousins --Gary, Russell, and my step cousin Adam, and heard about their lives, too. I haven't spoken to them or my uncle Harry's widow Elaine in over 20 years.

My sister Trudy and I talked about this yesterday. In some families, there are dramatic fights, or slights. We've never had these --it just seems we never get around to keeping in touch with the cousins. As Trudy recalled, she called Elaine about 18 years ago, and invited her for a visit. Elaine said she'd call after an Australian trip, and simply never did. That was that.

Whenever I see my cousins on my mother's side, we have a great time. We laugh, and reminisce. And then --time passes, and we never keep in touch. I guess it's emblematic of the modern life of 3rd and 4th generation Americans.

As I listened to Ann's voice, I heard the accent and inflections my father had. I imagined them, in the days before WW II, in their Bronx apartment, sitting around, and reading, and listening to the radio --sort of like my daughters do. Did they discuss the election of FDR in excited terms like my girls discuss Obama --D1's first presidential vote?

I may visit New York in March, to straighten out some issues of a case I handled a few years back --where a Russian boy was hurt on vacation in Miami, and the local NY lawyer is handling his guardianship. If I do, I'll call Ann and Steve, and take them to lunch.

I told Ann this, and she chuckled "If I'm around then!" By the sound of her voice -- she's not going anywhere, and I look forward to catching up some of the lost years.