Days of Awe

Well, the Jewish High Holidays are upon us, and I sit here NOT going to synagogue. I was raised a proud Zionist Jew, but an apostate one, but for the last 14 years or so flirted with the organized part of the religion.

Wifey and I met a delightful young Chabad couple, who brought us back, so to speak, with their warmth and charm, and generous helpings of vodka. We'd attend services, sometimes, and sent Ds 1 and 2 to Hebrew School for Bat Mitzvot.

Alas, I have come full circle, and returned to be my father's son. The reasons are manifold, but a major one involved a TV Movie of the Week-like incident where Dr. Barry resuscitated a near drowning child, who happened to be an Orthodox Jew. The ensuing circus, where the family made Barry out to be like Dr. Kevorkian, for advocating letting the child go, hit home too closely.

As I write, the child remains in a permanent vegetative state, and even my friend Rabbi Yossi continues the believe that this was the right outcome. It struck home to me that, when it comes to the Orthodox, well, it ain't me babe.

Wifey and I had previously rejected the Reform shul, as well, where the ultra liberal rabbis said it was ok to play golf on the sabbath, as long as "in your heart" you were remembering this commandment, and what a wealthy woman wore for services was far more important than the meaning of the holidays.

So, here I sit on this rainy day, an agnostic, and not even a "terrified " one, as Wifey is.

Last night we had the family over for dinner, and it was delightful. My sister Sue's here from California, and we ate, and drank, and looked at old photos, some dating from the 30s. Most importantly, we laughed together, and rejoiced that my mother and in laws, in their 80s, are still with us.

D1 was here until Sunday, but had to go back to college Sunday night. We missed her, but called so she could feel the spirit of the afternoon.

So, to honor my peeps, I won't work today, and will probably head out to the ocean, to contemplate stuff, talk to my late father, and toss my sins into the water (I do dig some of the symbolism). I hope my many sins don't stir up another tropical storm!

Next week, I'll probably fast, and think deeply about my life. Part of me wants to be, as Adam Duritz sang "someone who believes." For this year, though, I'm staying on the sidelines of religion.

That said, Feliz ano judeo, and to all a good night.