Bible Study And The Difficulty Of Truly Doing It

 So as much as Dr. Barry loathes his commute times, when something truly appeals to him, he's ADD to it. And so Wednesday will be our third JLI Talmud Class, taught by Rabbi Yossi's son Moshe, a taller and smarter version our dear Rabbi friend, though not as funny.

Barry, Norman, and Jeff and I are among the 20 or so oldsters in class, with a few more on Zoom. It's been very interesting -- learning why the Torah started being written down versus sent through time only orally, and how the Talmud, the great book of Torah explanations, is constructed.

When I tell folks about it, I say I'm in Bible Study, so they can pause for a moment and think maybe I've gone Christian. In fact, at UM I was a Religion minor, and much of what we studied was in fact New Testament -- I still can typically spot whether a gospel was Mark or Paul...

But anyway, one of the greatest Jewish thinkers and writers in all of our history was Maimonides, known as the Rambam. Among his teachings was the forms of charity, or tzekekah, a crucial commandment, or mitzvah, given to our Tribe by The Big Man.

He wrote about how the highest form of charity was doubly anonymous -- the giver gives, not knowing who the receiver will be, and the receiver just knows he is getting charity without having to thank a particular person -- just the Big Man for requiring this sort of exchange.

Yeah -- it's hard to do.  Charity is terrific, but just look at the names of buildings at hospitals and universities to see that people DO want to be acknowledged for their largesse. Years ago, my friend Jorge's wife Maria gave birth at Mt. Sinai Hospital on the Beach. Jorge joked he would daily visit by walking down the "Hall of the Ashkenazim," with the comically large number of signs and monuments with classic Ashkenazi names -- ending in "berg" or "witz." I can never visit there without recalling that.

I've been fortunate to do a fair amount of philanthropy. My first major target was my beloved alma mater UM, but over time it became clear that even though my cumulative gifts were well into the 6 figures, I was totally small potatoes to them. These days, other than the required Hurricane Club donations to keep my good seats at Canes games, I no longer give -- particularly to the College or Arts and Sciences where the Dean is a jerk.

Chabad and Friendship Circle are always on our list -- due to our closeness to Rabbi Yossi and Nechama and their amazing works. And then FIU popped up.

When D1 decided to get her MS in Dietetics, I was prepared to pay private grad school tuition. I actually thought she was going to follow her good friend Chelsea to NYU. But she decided to stay in Miami and attend FIU -- the entire tuition for her degree was about $25K over 3 years -- probably 1/5 of what NYU would have cost.

So I met with the Department Chair, and said I wished to donate a like amount -- $25K -- maybe to pay the tuition for a student like D1 but who came from a struggling family. Instead, their "Development" team came up with a better idea -- the $25K would start a family named scholarship, and each year it would award several thousand dollars to the MS students doing their required and unpaid internships. You have to do 3 to get your degree, and for kids from struggling families, time away from paying jobs is a major hardship. We agreed, and over the last 14 years, have gifted to the scholarship.

Between our gifts and the keen investing of the FIU Foundation, the Fund now has assets nearing $200K. We're all proud of all the students it helped -- a few even came to work for D1's company as consulting dietitians.

And FIU was gracious. They assigned a wonderful officer from Serbia to us, and each year she sent 4 tickets to the South Beach Wine and Food Festival -- and we had a blast, either on Miami Beach or, for the past 4 years, at events in the Gables. The officer also was well connected. When I mentioned I was on my way to the Key Biscayne Ritz for my 60th birthday weekend, she surprised us with a bottle of Dom -- compliments of her friend the owner. And she once called me with her neighbor on the phone, a former Canes DB and first round NFL pick who was now coaching at FIU. Yep -- she spoiled us.

Well she left for Barry U and a promotion, and our new "handler" has fumbled the ball of our account. She called me once to ask for friends' numbers and names so she could ask THEM to give to FIU, too. I explained to this woman that I would never do that -- my friends all have their own charities, or don't give much, if at all to charities, and I was not going to burden them. And then came time for the South Beach tickets, which takes place next weekend.

I called the woman, who I'll call Dorean, since that's her name, and after several attempts, she called me back -- I asked if we were getting our annual tickets. She said she would check and call back -- and never did!

Now -- I can buy my own tickets -- the one event that looks kind of cool is at the Grove Regatta Park -- hosted by Dan LeBatard, a great sports guy -- but I won't. Instead, I figure this is a good jumping off point for saying adios to the annual gifts to FIU.

I KNOW it's petty, and the charity is the thing -- not the disrespectful and incompetent Development woman -- but as Wifey says -- we've given them enough -- the Scholarship is self sustaining based on the small gifts they annually give -- and -- well -- basta!

Years ago I read about something one of my life's heroes, Frank Sinatra, did when he lived in Palm Springs. He would daily read the Deseret News, and see some sad tale -- maybe a waitress's home burned down, or a kid got in an accident and had no insurance.

Frank would call his lawyers in Beverly Hills, and arrange an anonymous gift -- telling the lawyers if it leaked out who was the source of the gift, he would "replace you greedy Jewish lawyers with OTHER greedy Jewish lawyers." I loved his political correctness. 

No one learned of this until long after he died.

I've been doing the same on a much smaller scale. Recently I read about a young father, delivering Door Dash in the wee small hours (homage to Frank there) when a dumb ass in a stolen car hit and killed him. A GoFundMe page was set up -- and I contributed -- no idea who this family was, but a Dad trying to support his family resonated with me.

So I figure the FIU Family Scholarship will now be re-directed to the "Sinatra Program."

I wish I could be less petty, and not care about being treated well for my acts of charity -- but hey -- I figure charity is charity -- and the Chairman of the Board would have approved...