I'm Not One of THEM Anymore

 My late Mom was adorable and quirky -- and had her own internal logic. Probably about 10 years before she died, she attended the funeral of a Black woman she knew from the Atlantic Democratic Club. She reported that it was amazing. "They were all singing like that THERESA Franklin!" She told us, straight faced, that she now considered herself a Black Baptist -- she had had it with her own tribe of obnoxious, Northeastern Jews.

The day after the funeral, she went to a local movie theater, and the theater goers, all fellow Kings Pointers, were rude and yelling at the poor ushers. As Mom reported the incident, she added "I'm glad I'm not one of THEM anymore." Classic Sunny. Of course, she never actually converted, and defaulted back to the Bronx Jewess she was. But we always recall her tale.

I got to reprise it last night. After months of hectoring by the Ds, I decided to exit FaceBook (tm) for awhile. I had mistakenly sent a friend request to a long estranged family member -- classic tech boner move for me. Of course, the fellow simply deleted it. Ha. As if! He took it as an opening to unleash a message to me that was so vitriolic and hateful -- suggesting I engage in a physical act that is anatomically impossible --by myself! I hadn't had contact with this troubled fellow for 14 years, but I guess he felt he needed to vent. And it showed me no good comes from social media, especially for codgers like me who can't even use it correctly. So I deactivated.

Meanwhile, Wifey WAS on FB, and was telling me about an old acquaintance whose husband dropped dead Wednesday of a heart attack. He was a great guy -- they buried him yesterday at the same cemetery where I shall move someday -- next to the Palmetto Expressway.

His widow was still posting away about politics. I told Wifey I thought that was disrespectful. Wifey disagreed -- saying anyone is allowed to deal with grief however they like.

And I got to say "Ha. FaceBook users. I'm not one of THEM anymore!" And so it will be.

I truly see how FB is so effective at marketing. When I posted something I thought witty, I would check back to see how many "likes" I got. Apparently getting social media affirmation releases the same brain chemicals that leach out during pleasurable events -- like drinking vodka for me. I plan to quit cold turkey.

I leave the great cartoons and jokes and other assorted witticisms to my friend Norman. He's busy with his law practice -- so FB for him is a harmless distraction -- he can easily do it without it becoming too important.

D1 got off FB awhile ago. She is happy she did. D2 rarely uses it. I was the one family member far too into it -- and as of last night -- no longer an issue.

Now -- maybe I need to try cocaine...