Thursday, November 11, 2021

This House Sho Gon Crazy

 I generally try to leave Villa Wifey on Wednesdays, mostly because our beloved housekeeper Miriam visits that day, and I like to give her space. Also, she thinks I'm fluent in Spanish, and asks me things about cleaning supplies and such in her native tongue, and I scramble to answer -- sometimes calling upon a friend like Mirta to translate.

Well yesterday the plumbers were coming back to install a new diverter valve in the bathroom D2 and Jonathan have been using. Last week they noticed a dripping faucet, and South End sent out Tom, the 91 year old master plumber, to investigate. He determined a new valve was needed, and the two younger guys came yesterday to do it.

At the same time, the lawn guys were noisily leaf blowing outside, and poor D2 was trying to find a quiet spot to handle Zoom calls. She picked the outside , back steps, but her enormous dog Betsy kept barking to be with her, and then the leaf blowing fellow would come by.

Plus, I told Miriam there was no water, as the plumbers had shut it off to do their work, and in the middle South End called me. It was Tom, checking on his young charges, who were themselves in their 60s. I walked to the truck and handed them the phone -- they assured the very old plumber they were fine.

D2 went to the room above the garage for some quiet, and Miriam puttered around, and the leaf men did their work, and one tried to water a newly potted ficus, and I had to explain, in broken Spanish, why the outside hose would give no water...

I thought of the scene from the Three Stooges movie where the butler, in politically incorrect times, noted the state of things.

Eventually the plumbers returned the water supply, new bathroom fixture in place, and Miriam went upstairs.

I fled the nuttiness -- to meet Stuart on Brickell, for an outside lunch on South Miami Avenue.

It seemed everyone there, on a Manhattan busy street, was 35 or younger. Stuart and I, happily married a combined 56 years, noted that in the hour we were there, more beautiful young women passed by than one might see in several months in just about any other US city -- maybe with the exception of parts of LA.

It was not bad scenery, and I thought about our neighbor Anne, who recently decamped to Raleigh, because the gorgeous young women were, she thought, too much of a distraction to her husband. 

Ha. As if they were going to flock to her guy -- not exactly George Clooney.

Anyway, I drove home to a blissfully quiet house. Miriam was about done, and then left. D2 was at a haircut in South Miami. I sat outside by the pool with a cup of tea -- enjoying the peace and calm.

And then I heard the front door open -- but no car had come up the rocky driveway. Oh well, I thought -- the home invaders are here.

But no -- it was Wifey, who had been home the entire hour I was there, and sort of forgot to greet me -- instead sitting outside and pulling weeds up, or rearranging rocks.

I explained that normal human behavior is acknowledging someone when they return home. She agreed to work on reacquiring these sorts of skills. 

I was annoyed, but she bought my forgiveness by going to pick up Shorty's barbecue, which we shared with D2 when she got home. Jonathan was at a business dinner in the Gables.

Of course, I realize how fortunate I am that this is the kind of turmoil in the house. Yesterday the place indeed gon crazy.

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