Straight Outa Broward

Via guilt and manipulation that rose to the level of a true art form, my in laws convinced Wifey and me to buy them a new condo back in 2000. They had purchased one in an older section of Century Village, but realized that their peers, also Holocaust Survivors, had moved into a nicer area -- "on the vater." They didn't have enough money to upgrade, so they got Wifey and me to do it for them -- we paid $120K for a breezy unit with a lovely view of the man made lake. They lived there together for 13 years, and then my father in law was moved to a nursing home on account of Alzheimers Disease. I don't think my mother in law even once looked at the "vater wiew" -- they needed the place to, as I have coined the term, keep up with the Rabinowitzes... We moved my mother in law to Palmetto Bay in April, and her existence here has been as pleasant as multiple root canals punctuated by shots to the gut. But that's another story...Wifey and I put the unit up for sale, and the aging realtor got us a buyer -- a Colombian fellow. It's interesting -- when my in laws moved to CV it was nearly totally Jewish retirees. Now it's about 60% Hispanic and Carribbean. The old Jews go to Boynton Beach these days. Anyway, after the typical back and forth, and last minute scrambles for documents, today was the closing. Wifey and I drove up to Weston, to the Seller's lawyer's office, and met our aging realtor. The buyer was there, and his lawyer and closing agent. The agent was also a lawyer -- 2 years behind me at the U, and a Coral Gables native. He was professional and smooth. As soon as Wifey and I signed, he sent instructions to his bank to wire us our proceeds. I asked him when I would get them -- he told me to check my cell texts. Sure enough, the funds were in our bank account. I hadn't even finished my coffee. We said our goodbyes, and then made one final stop at CV. Wifey had to visit the office, to halt the auto payments from her mother's bank for the maintainence fees. We drove away -- happy that our trips there, since 1992, were now at a conclusion. I noticed the two synagogues on campus -- one a Reform, and the other Orthodox. I imagine they'll close soon or be converted to churches. Such are the demographic changes in that corner of Southwest Broward. After fees and commissions, we netted about $141K. So for a 16 year investment, it was pretty crappy. My know it all suegra told me, after she got her way "David -- you'll THANK me someday. You vill make a big killing ven you sell." Yeah, right. I'm just happy we didn't take a major loss on the deal. On the other hand, if I invested $120K in Apple stock 16 years ago... So we are no longer Broward County property owners. I never wanted to be, but having in laws who survived the Holocaust has a very high price. I got a call from my banker friend Carole, to confirm the money was in my account. Great news, she said. Her bank was having a promotion -- super high interest was being paid on new CDs above $100K. They were paying 1.2%!!!! Wow -- how times have changed. I remember my Dad getting 18% on his savings when he retired in 1979. The high rates kept my Mom in high cotton for 30 years after Dad died. No more. Now getting just above a point is a "special promotion." Still -- I'm just glad it's over. As I age, I want to own less and less of things that require work -- like condos. And now we're down to one house and one condo in Palmetto Bay -- which we'll keep until the old woman leaves it -- either to be permanently with her husband, in the cemetery West of Dadeland, or to a nursing home. So it's adios to Century Village. May it be a place of happiness for the new, more ethnic version of happy retirees, looking for early bird specials. Instead of corned beef sandwiches, it'll be rice and beans...Time marches on.