Not A Background Grandma

Now that my father in law has been buried, and Wifey has settled into the week-long period of official mourning, her observations about her mother have come to the forefront. MY mother, Grandma Sunny, was always easy to be around. Even as she declined, and heard little, she was content to be in the room, allowing the activities of the younger people to go on, and when she needed something, would politely and cheerfully ask. She was a pleasure. Wifey noted that in contrast, her mother was not a "background grandma." No, Rachel is deaf, and still peppers all with questions, even though she cannot hear the answers. She was told years ago she would be partially cured by a cochlear implant, a minor surgery to implant, essentially, a deep hearing aid. She refused, making all around her miserable. Wifey has wanted no visitors this week, except for her sister of another mother, Edna. Old friend Jeannette stopped by, as well, and last night Dr. Barry came by after work. My mother in law got him on the couch, and talked at him for quite awhile, before we rescued him by typing out on an IPAD that we wanted to feed him. D2 had come in earlier, and noted how "aggressive" her grandma is. Humor is the only way the situation isn't untenable. For example, Wifey put on the show "Jeopardy" with closed captions, and offered her mother the opportunity to watch. "I don't vatch NO TV -- I am in MOURNING" was the response. So we watched as she sat and looked away, but every so often she would bark out an answer -- her piousness not as strong as she would advertise. Another recurring funny thing is that the strange rescue dog, Vienna, for some reason can't stand the old woman, and barks at her whenever she gets up and traverses the room with her walker. She once nipped her when she tried to sit down, and Wifey and the Ds and I agree that if she ever actually bites my mother in law in the tuches, well, peeing in pants is permitted... So Wifey is coming face to face with the future -- a 91 year old who is absurdly healthy, mostly mentally sharp, and demanding, and petulant, and, well, difficult. My mother in law is largely obese, and yet proclaims her need to "eat healthy." I make her an omelette, she refuses because it's no "egg vites" and then gulps it down like my old Labrador when food fell on the floor. Yes, I feel for Wifey, but these days are just beginning...