And When You're Rich They Think You Really Know

So 2016 is here, and one of the resolutions I'll probably keep until about February is to not give advice to people any more, unless they pay for it in my law practice. Actually, I've done less and less of it as the years have gone by, but I truly need to focus my efforts at more restraint. I have a dear friend who advises readily. In fact, I once dubbed him Bronson, after the early 70s TV show "Then Came Bronson," which was about a fellow who'd motorcycle into a town, fix whatever was wrong (usually something like a corrupt police force) and then bike away into the sunset. My buddy rides in, deems things to be a certain way, and then leaves. Typically things don't change, despite his best and heartfelt efforts. Wifey and I have stayed married for 29 years, so some call upon me for advice in that area. I've learned that people react to relationships uniquely, in the same way bodies react to drugs. One man may be perfectly happy in a situation another will deem untenable. It's certainly true for me -- I hear about situations all the time that make me wince -- and the man or woman in the relationship says it's perfectly acceptable. So my advice will be really only the obvious -- life is short -- either stay or go -- living in purgatory is indeed the worst. One area I've had success is in knowing who to refer people to -- I get called on to say who are the doctors, accountants, or lawyers to use, along with the best plumbers, septic tank people, etc... With rare exception, I've stopped recommending people, too. It seems things often go bad, and somehow I'm blamed, or end up having to consult for free. This happened recently with a lawyer -- the client first asked for my referral, ended up hiring someone I didn't know, and then still asked me how to proceed. The lawyer was poised to settle a case far too cheap -- I suggested a course of action, which the client took, and the settlement was for more than 10 times the amount it might have been. I'm happy for the client, of course, but some hack lawyer will now make a much fatter fee than he deserves. As Tony S says, what are ya gonna do? The doctor thing is definitely changing. A cousin I last spoke to during the Clinton administration called me about her mother -- since I had friends in the medical profession in Palm Beach County, could I ask about a vascular surgeon. I called Dr. Eric, and he gave me three names. I called the cousin back -- her Mom had been to all three, and found all three uncaring -- "interested only in her fat Medicare check," as she said. Now, I know the cousin is really upset about her dying Mom, and NO ONE would be satisfactory -- but next time I get the call, the answer will be "No -- my friends all died -- no one to recommend." It's funny, while I'm getting out of the referral business, Wifey seems to be getting in. About once a month she asks me for a recommendation -- typically in the medical field. My new response is "The UM MEd School website is a good place to look." People rarely take sage advice anyway. All they want is support and cheer leading. We all have to, in the end, cure ourselves. I have three separate financial people giving investment advice. When the market is up, their advice is good. When it's down or flat, like it was last year, their advice is questionable. But I do pay them, regardless. How dumb is that? I probably need to start by NOT following my own advice in life...