Un welcome Crap Storm

My dear friend Norman is a terrific guy. In addition to fulfilling the critical roles of excellent Dad, son, brother, uncle, husband, and responsible law partner/supervisor, he is very involved in his old UM fraternity. I mean VERY. He's a national officer, an office which not only doesn't pay, it COSTS him tons of money in pledges, and travel to meetings all over the US. Norman does it because he really loves his fraternity, and because he truly believes that fraternity life is an experience that molds and shapes young men for the better. His father was a member of the fraternity, and his youngest son Benji joined as well. Norman's role caused plenty of annoyances, mostly regarding to issues about the local house, and sometimes more serious -- like when a brother gets in trouble with the authorities. Norman takes calls in the middle of the night, and sometimes has to get involved -- like being the devoted uncle to a gaggle of loser nephews. Still, the worst was yet to come down the pike. Last week, members of the UF chapter were on a spring break, up in Panama City, and they had a bad encounter with a group of disabled veterans and their families who were staying at the same resort. No one was injured, but there were claims of gross disrespect on the part of the brothers towards the vets and their families. A full investigation is underway, and apparently several brothers were already kicked out of the fraternity. But this thing has gone internationally infamous, as the story line is classic for a media frenzy: privlieged college boys disrespecting veterans who sacrificed so much for their country -- allowing young men to attend college and go off on Spring breaks. The facts aren't all in, of course, and some of the allegations may prove false. In the first place, where people photograph EVERYTHING with their cell phones, no one from any of the vets' group have apparently any video evidence of the bad behavior. And, as a rule, Vets and their families tend to be, well, rougher and tougher than college frat boys. Why did the Vets take this like victims, instead of causing the story to have a very different ending? In any event, my friend is swimming in it, given his role as a national officer. And it just stinks. My Dad NEVER joined organizations of any type, let alone became officers of them. His experience in the army during WW II taught him a basic lesson; NEVER VOLUNTEER! He taught that to me, but I haven't followed his advice. I've joined many organizations and sit on committees. But the truth is, as I get older and more like my Dad, I let them fall aside. I learned that after a year of serving as a Guardian ad Litem, I wasn't cut out for it. My Ward took my time each month, and ended up doing exactly the opposite of the advice I gave her. She's a girl with a genius IQ, who could have gone to Harvard (unlike my own girls, whose lack of ethnic or racial minority essentially excluded them from the Ivy League). Instead, my ward got pregnant and dropped out of school... I sit on a committee at UM, one "charged" with advising a college Dean. The Dude NEVER listends to us, although he pays lip service to the richest members of the group. My attendance basically gets me priority seating at university events -- I don't see much other benefit. We have a neighborh who I'll call Dr. Bob, since that's his name. He retired recently after a LONG career as a dermatologist. I saw him recently, and asked him why, given his vast experience, he doesn't volunteer at a clinic or something. He replied "David -- I've learned something. People don't value or repsect volunteers. If they don't pay for something, they take it for granted. At this stage of my life, I choose to avoid being put in that situation." He haa a point. Still, Norman is not giving up -- I know he'll see this latest crap storm through to the end. I'm sure he'll also anger some folks -- either within the fraternity, or the veterans' group. As I told him yesterday: "This is why they DON'T pay you the big bucks." Still. we're scheduled for dinner and drinks tomorrow night. I'm hoping a little Canadian whiskey might help things along for him...