Biannual Dealing With Sheet

The Ds and Wifey justly make fun of me for actually looking forward to my every 2 year meeting of the septic tank man. When we moved in, I was told by the builder, Richard, that the system was installed by Mr. Smith, and I ought to let his company do the every two year pump out. We learned from our first house that failure to service a septic tank is bad -- the drainfield gets clogged, and then you're waist deep in...well, shit. I met Mr. Smith and immediately liked him. He's a classic cracker, millionaire next door kind of guy. He showed me pictures of the house he built in Montana, "all because of the shit I do." He introduced me to Pedro, the Cuban guy who does a lot of the pumping work. Every two years, I dutifully Ha! call Smith's company. They park on the street behind Ha! my house, and toss the hose over the stone wall. They then pump it out, and I'm crap free for another two years. So it's April, and I called Smith. The old man answered, and said Pedro would be by. Sure enough, this am I got a cheerful "Hello Mr. David -- I'm on my way!" Pedro has the classic Spanish accent, which has a problem with the short i sound. So, he deals with "sheet." I really love the fact that he's one man who can talk literally about sheet, as opposed to the rest of us who over use it metaphorically. Pedro had "plenty of sheet to deal with" today, and like making "money from sheet." He's been "doing this sheet for 25 years now," and happy for the phyical part of the job, as he's battling Type II diabetes. He told me "MY father died at 50. I'M 50, and I don't wanna die. Too much sheet (there it was again) left to do. If you wanna live, you gotta keep your mouth closed." I brought Pedro a Keurig (tm) brewed coffee in a mug I stole from an insurance company, and told him to keep it. I mean, who needs everyone else's shit?