Dirty, Disgusting Dog

Today seemed like a good one to stay home, between near record cold (low of 42, and warmed to 60) and the fact that I've been putting a LOT of time in the past few weeks. As I lounged late over my coffee and Herald, Wifey asked if I was going to the office. "I don't know," I replied. She answered she only heard the "no" part. Anyway, the lawn guys were here, and later the pool guy, too, so our front gate was open. I noticed the strange rescue dog wasn't around, and I asked Wifey if she'd seen her. Just then, Wifey's cell phone rang -- with a frantic call from our neighbor. Our neighbor is a little unusual for a co homeowner in this hood. First of all, she's in her mid 20s, and doesn't exactly share the appearance of the rest of the moms. Her mom does, though. She calls Wifey all the time, for advice about contractors, and babysitting. A few months ago, a dachshund from down the block came into her house. She called Wifey, and as Wifey was there, along with our off duty FHP trooper, the dog, named,like many weiner dogs, Oscar, bit the neighbor's 4 year old boy. The child did fine, but the resulting tumult was the most excitement seen in these parts since we were invaded by peafowl... So the neighbor is understanably not a fan of dogs, and was calling because one had run into her garage. The neighbor thought it was the same hound that bit her son, and she and Wifey talked about the fact that supposedly Oscar had been given away, and whose dog was it, and, etc... I'm known for my quick thinking, and while Wifey and the neighbor woman were engaged in their colloquy, I immediately made the connection: the dog was ours, and I ran out to fetch her. The funny part was the neighbor describing the beast that entered our garage as "fat, dirty, and disgusting." When Vienna saw me, she trotted happily over, another adventure notched on her collar. We didn't tell her that she was described in such unflattering terms. More importantly, I think I figured out how the dog was getting from our back yard to the front: a gap between our fence and the neighbor's fence to the north. I plugged the gap with some limestone boulders. Vienna saw me do it, and cursed me in mutt language, I'm pretty certain.