A Banner Thanksbirthday

 So today is D1's 32nd birthday, and since we were all together yesterday, we celebrated T Day and birthday. It was a top 10 all time great day.

I've learned that often great days have triggers -- something happens early that sets a tone, either negative of positive. Yesterday it was the lack of a carving knife.

We brought in food from Sage, a local restaurant known for their catering. I went to fetch the food, and when I got home, we realized it had a full, cooked turkey. Typically the turkey comes pre-sliced, or we have in caterers with their own utensils. No problem, I told Wifey, we have that old butcher block with the carving knives, an engagement gift to us from 1986. Umm, no we don't answered Wifey. She gave it away to our housekeeper, since we never cook, and any food we bring in never requires carving. All we have are small, not very sharp steak knives, and D1 and Joey had already left, so I couldn't have them bring a carving knife. I guessed D2 and Jonathan didn't have one either.

But then I remembered -- I had a barbecue set, top of the line and never used, from over 20 years ago. Sure enough, it had a large, sharp carving knife. And then I recalled the story behind the cutlery.

D1 was friends with a girl in Middle School named Michelle. She was diagnosed with leukemia, and was inpatient at UM/JMH. She never made it, fortunately, to the PICU, but was very sick. I asked Barry if maybe he would drop by and say hello. He said he would.

A few days later, I got one of the most memorable emails I ever received. It was from Tracy,  Michelle's mother, telling me she never believed in angels until a large man from Queens came into their life. He comforted them, spent hours with them, and was literally the light in their darkness. And, thankfully, Michelle was cured, and is now a nurse in NYC. Michelle and her family came to visit, with Barry and his family, and brought a gift for Barry and that top of the line barbecue set for me. And 20 years later, it came to our turkey carving rescue.

As I told the tale of the knife to Joey, we both teared up, thinking about this man we have in our lives, who comforts us still, thankfully about less dramatic pediatric issues. And that set the tone for the rest of the day.

We ate. We drank. The grandson sat next to me cooing, as if he wanted to talk with the adults. Wifey had us each take a turn saying what we were thankful for. It was so heartfelt. Even in the time of the plague, we appreciated so what we had.

Did I mention we drank? Somehow a large Ketel One bottle got half used up, as did a tequila bottle. We sang happy birthday to D1, and shared her requested hazel nut, butter cream frosting cake.

At one point, the badass street dog got on the table and devoured a cookie cake Wifey had bought. Later, the Ds friend Alyssa FaceTimed, and asked if Vienna was ok after her stunt. D1 reminded Alyssa that dog survived rat poison -- a little cookie cake was a snack for her.

D1 and Joey took the spoiled Spaniel and the baby and left. I told Joey how I loved him -- as amazing the Big Man's blessings to me have been -- did I really also deserve sons in law like Joey and Jonathan? I'm thankful the answer seems to be yes.

Later, D2 and Jonathan took the enormous puppy and left. I found my way upstairs and slept the sleep of a very happy man.

This am, as I walked the 'hood, D1 and I re-lived the night. She too is humbled with gratitude. Today some friends, her sister, and sister in law are going over for a socially distanced cake and champagne gathering in their back yard.

I finished my clean up, and dish washing, and think I have a nap with my name on it before I see some of my boys on Zoom later tonight. I'll be drinking less -- as the lightweight I am, I can't drink heavily two days in a row, much as that remains a lesser life goal I have.

D1 bought me a t shirt which I wore yesterday, and continue to wear today, even though the sleeve has remnants of the grandson's lunch on it: I'm a cool rockin' Daddy in the USA. Amazingly fortunate and blessed, too.

Oy -- It Could Be Voise!

 So tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and as for me and MY family, we will gather to give gratitude for our manifold blessings. Sure -- we've had downs and disappointments, and there IS a worldwide plague going on, but we try to keep things in perspective.

I did hear three pieces of awful news this week. A friend's mother, just 76, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. My friend is a devoted, only child, and is devastated, as is her father. She will begin the long, sad road now of finding a suitable, safe residence for her parents, learning about resources, eldercare planning, etc...

I shared the experience I have from dealing with the declines of my mother, and Wifey's parents. I told her it's awful, and just gets worse. I wish the reality were different, but it's not.

I then heard that the husband of an old friend has failed in his treatments for terminal cancer. He was diagnosed a year ago with a form of cancer where patients typically live a year after diagnosis. This is one time you don't WANT to be a textbook case. I pray for peace for that family.

And then last night I spoke at length with a very long time friend from LI. He's a retired Fed guy, and his wife has been suffering from MS for years. The past several have left her wheelchair bound, and my old friend, turning 60 next year, fears dying before she does -- from the stress and pain of being her caregiver. He's at a crossroads -- realizing he probably has to find a facility for his wife, who is mentally all there but physically failing. Another Oy vey.

I was discussing these miseries with Wifey, and remarked how my father had the decency to drop dead long before he became a burden on his family. Of course, I was devastated by his loss, and haven't "gotten over it," whatever that means, nearly 4 decades later.

All I know is, life comes at you. Often exquisitely, like a warm, tropical breeze, but sometimes like a freezing rain n'oreaster. You really never know.

So when things are truly, mostly ok, you HAVE to celebrate.

Another friend and I were talking about how some people lie about their age. I can never do that. Each year is a gift from the Big Man, and when you claim to be younger than you are, it's as if you're ungrateful for some of that ultimate gift.

Of course 30 somethings look far more attractive than 50 somethings. That's just the way things are. You just have to enjoy whatever complements there are.

Just yesterday, one of our FHP troopers, who provide unneeded security in my 'hood, called me over. I call her the lady of indeterminate ethnicity, since she is of indeterminate ethnicity. She clearly has either Polynesian or possibly Indian ancestry, but she is most exotic looking.

She said she never wanted to bother me while I walked, since I was always on the phone with what must be important calls. I guffawed. I am on the phone, I told her, but almost NEVER about anything important. Anyway, I was phone-free, and she complemented me on the weight I lost. I thanked her, and said she looked fine too. She's actually pretty zaftig, and rolled her eyes and said "That's not true, but you are very charming for saying that." So there's that...

So bring it on, Thanksgiving. We're ready for a day with the Ds, their men, our grandson, and 4 dogs. I'll pick up the catered food in the am, and start tending bar just after noon.

It could be voise!

Her Favorite Week

 So I was chatting with D1 the other day as I did one of my constitutionals, and she reminded me this is her favorite week. She's always loved Thanksgiving, which is a holiday of great food and family togetherness, and her birthday always falls within a day or so of the holiday. In fact, the Hebrew name we chose for her is Hagit, which means Holiday, since her birth was so close to T Day.

Also, the weather is almost always beautiful in Miami in late November. Finally, in college T Day week was a time all of her dear friends would return home from far flung colleges, and they'd have a lovely reunion. It was always hosted by Missy -- D1's friend Nicole's Mom. D2 is close friends with Scott, Nicole's brother, and so that younger group of kids would always be included, too. 

Wifey and I would also be invited, and the reunion was lovely -- our newly adult kids sharing their tales of life with us middle agers... I guess this year there'll be no post T Day brunch, which is really sad, as now many of the former undergrads have beautiful babies of their own.

But I agree with D1 -- this is a wonderful week. As if on cue, the incessant rain we've had too long into dry season seems to have stopped. As I let out the pups this am, I felt that delightful breeze of cool air. I've also had the bedroom windows open the last 3 nights -- sleeping to the sound of night birds and other critters.

We've typically been hosting our sons in laws' families for T Day. A few years back, Joey's brother and sister in law hosted at their new house in Morningside. They nervously asked me if it was authentic -- since the Ds and I are the only native born Americans in the group. Indeed it was -- I assured our hosts we might as well have been in Oklahoma as Latin Miami for all the familiar trappings.

Still -- we had taken over in past years. Last year we had close to 20 -- the Ds' in laws all came. 

Alas -- this year it'll be just the 7 of us, plus an increase in the household dog infestation. It should be lovely.

We have an immense amount to be thankful for, even in this time of global pandemic and political unrest in our country. It appears a vaccine will be readily available by April or so, so there is optimism for a return to sort of normal by the Summer.

Finally yesterday, the absurd Trump Administration allowed the GSA to start the transition to Biden. The pathetic creep still won't concede, but it appears, like Hitler in his bunker before the suicide, that he's accepted his loser fate.

Biden's been picking his Cabinet, and my friends and I have been getting a kick out of it. His Chief of Staff, Secretary of State, Homeland Security Chief, and Secretary of the Treasury are all Jews. Is it the Cabinet or Knesset? I'm sure the anti-semites will have a field day, but that's ok. The picks are all well seasoned and qualified.

Janet Yellen, the Treasury pick, is one of my favorites. She may have one of the most brilliant minds in Economics. Her husband is a Nobel Laureate -- also in Eco. And yet when she speaks, she still has a lot of Brooklyn in her. She talks about the social dimension of the economy, and I expect to hear "Ok, hon -- you want the corned beef or pastrami? I ain't got all day, you know."

So fun times ahead. Big Man willing, healthy ones, too.

All I know is, I join in my first born's assessment. This can indeed be a favorite week.

Outdoor Speakers

 So as I spend a quiet Saturday, I have my Sonos playing through speakers on my front porch, which I can hear well from my spot across the courtyard in the library, with the doors open. I'm listening to Steely Dan's "Gaucho," which is 40 years old.

It brings me back. 41 years ago, when I was still living in my parents' house on LI, I also used to listen to my stereo playing outside. Of course, that required putting one of the speakers in my open bedroom window, and cranking up the old Pioneer, which I still have. I would listen to Bad Company, or the Grateful Dead, or the Beatles, while washing my and my Dad's car. Funny how my likes as a youth remain with me past middle age...

There's a lot of nostalgia going around. My dear friend Mike's boy Chris got his Florida Bar results yesterday -- he passed. I congratulated him in a text, and on FaceBook (tm). Lois, teacher now in Orlando but our old neighbor in the Falls, asked how that little blonde boy is now a lawyer. She knew Chris from the time his parents brought him home from Baptist Hospital, and in her mind, he's always, at most, about 5. One of those time warp things, I guess.

I told Chris his grandpa, Ed, one of my life's mentors, congratulated my Bar passing by saying "Congratulations -- you've got your license to steal now." That was 1986.  Chris is a third generation Florida lawyer, and 3rd generation UM Law grad. Sunrise, sunset...

We had a lovely Zoom cocktail party last night, with Eric, Dana, Scott, Samantha, and Barry making an appearance on his way home. Josh jumped in, too, but then the young-uns signed off. Kenny was working.

Wifey peeked in, and said "That's it?" Yes -- a very nice IT, I reminded her -- friends for nearly 4 decades enjoying talk of old times and times yet to come.

Tonight, the Ds and their men have a double date planned -- meeting for dinner in the Grove where their friend is a restaurant manager. Wifey and I will drive up to watch our grandson. I joked with D1 that we might make out on their couch. D1 said that was fine, but the house had cameras. So much for that idea...

I guess it'll be college football on TV. That's fine, though my Canes are postponed due to COVID.

Speaking of which, as I was walking this am, I came upon a neighbor, Dr. F. He put on a mask. I apologized -- I didn't have one. He explained it was because he had tested positive -- he thinks he got it in a local restaurant. He said he was quite sick, but is now 90% recovered. It was over a month ago.

It seems the plague has gone from knowing someone who knows someone who had it, to actually knowing people who've had it. But the good news is not hearing about as many deaths as before -- certainly among the younger. It's truly become the "Boomer remover" that the college kids were originally calling it. 

And, my thought leader, Dr. Fauci, says that by April a vaccine should be available to anyone who wants it. I want it. So hopefully we just stay very careful for another 4- 5 months, and maybe things come closer to normal.

Maybe I'll get to celebrate my 60th birthday, in July, in Key West, as I'd love to do.

My plan is to have a few friends meet at the Chart Room, in the Pier House, and maybe take the place over for a Happy Hour. And then, Saturday night, dinner at Bagatelle. That's my wish for entering my 7th decade. I hope it comes to pass...

For now, though, I'm perfectly happy at home, with the music playing. On outdoor speakers.

The Light At The End? Hopefully Not An Oncoming Train

 So today marks 8 months since we've been dealing with the plague. Our last maskless, day out, was March 12th. Hopefully the end is in sight -- today a second company, Moderna, announced their vaccine was very effective. Last week Pfizer said theirs was 90% effective. Moderna said "Ha! Ours is 94% effective." These are happy competitions for those of us looking desperately to return to some kind of normal.

We had a lovely weekend. On Saturday, D1 and Joey came over with the Senior Spaniel, and the beautiful grandson. The Canes were on, and won, and then we switched to the Masters for Joey. We toasted the day with vodka martinis -- his dirty, mine clear. Wifey savored the baby -- she is totally in love. He has his mother's eyes and nose, and many of her adorable baby expressions, and so for Wifey it's a recapitulation of over three decades.

They left, and we watched more TV, and I walked some more. D2 and Jonathan had friends plans, and we thought we'd see them later in the week...until...

Last night we got a call from them as we were watching Obama on "60 Minutes." They were at their friends Brett and Elise, who bought a house just blocks from us, and Betsy rolled in something vile. They needed an emergency stop at our place for a quick hose bath. We think it was either iguana or possum crap -- it was terrible. So Jonathan wrangled the 78 pound pup, and D2 did the washing, and we all laughed. Betsy shook off the water happily.

I did my 7.5 miles this am, and returned to check the stock market -- soaring on the good vaccine news. I was happy about that, as Thursday is "Give Miami Day," and I plan to participate again. I was asked by FIU to post a link to our family scholarship fund, and I will, even though I loathe asking people to donate.

Wifey ordered the Thanksgiving food. We typically have the Ds in laws and siblings in law, but this year we're following Dr. Fauci's advice and keeping it just the 7 of us, one of whom is not a big turkey eater. But we'll toast, and watch football, and hopefully take the dogs and grandson on a nice long walk. And we'll hope that TDay '21 we can have the team back at full strength, as they say in hockey after a penalty ends.

The stock market is usually very smart about seeing into the future. I hope it is this time. Let that light be one of normalcy -- and not something far more ominous.

Gastonia, NC

 Today's news had a sad tale about a multiple shooting in Gastonia, NC. I was sorry to hear, but that's a place deep in my memory, for an oblique reason.

I adored and worshipped my father. Unlike me, he wasn't a very social man, though he could be charming -- he needed that for his job as a glassware salesman. But I never really knew of friends he had -- exactly the opposite of me. My Ds know well my stable of dear brothers and sisters and how important they are to me.

One of my Dad's childhood friends was Bobby Danzig. Bobby was the reason the family moved to LI -- he had bought a house on Charles Lane, and encouraged my parents to do the same. We lived 4 houses apart, but Bobby and my Dad each had busy work and family lives, and rarely socialized. 

Another name I used to hear was Harry Binder. My Dad would bring him up from time to time, as Harry had a far more exotic post WW II life than Dad -- he had settled in the SOUTH!

Well, one day, and I must have been a high school junior or senior, Dad said Harry and his wife were coming to visit -- they were in NY for a wedding, and were coming over for lunch. Now -- it was Summer, and weekend days were precious -- I would spend them all with my friends. But the thought of actually meeting one of Dad's childhood friends was too alluring to me. I said I would stay home.

Harry and his wife came over. I believe we brought in pizza or Chinese -- my Dad joked that he wouldn't dare barbecue for a true Southerner like Harry's wife. They were delightful. Harry had a slight accent, and his wife was full on "Driving Miss Daisy." She was born and raised in Gastonia, which was shocking to me, as she was Jewish. To a garden variety, Tri-State Jew like me -- there were no Jews in the South.

I mean, I knew they were in Israel, and California, and large Midwestern cities -- but North Carolina? I knew there were plenty of Jews in Miami, like my grandmother, but Miami wasn't the South. By the late 70s, in my mind, it was the 6th Boro of NYC, and North Havana at the same time, buy not SOUTHERN.

It was a delightful day. Mom and Mrs. B chatted about their lives, and Harry, Hy, and I spent several hours together. I hungrily sought information on my Dad as a boy. Harry said he was always smart and bookish -- not into sports, like many of their friends who grew up literally in the shadow of Yankee Stadium. While the rest of the boys played baseball, or football, or basketball --my Dad preferred his tenement's stoop and a book.

Dad admired how Harry hadn't returned to NY after the war. Instead, he went into his wife's family's business -- I think it may have been furniture -- and prospered there. Dad let on as to how he had a small regret -- not staying in Southern California after the War. He and my Mom LOVED Pasadena, and Dad wondered if maybe he'd have gotten a more exciting job as a writer in TV or movies.

Harry pointed at our house -- a modest tract home - and said he had done just fine for a poor boy from the Bronx -- the child of immigrants, like Harry was. I had the sense Harry had gotten much richer, but he was humble.

I never saw Harry or Mrs. B after that lovely day, though they had invited us all to be their guests in NC.

Fast forward from '77 or '78 to the Summer of 1991. Wifey and I and toddler D1 were in Charleston, SC, for the wedding of our friend Jeff to Marilyn. Marilyn was Catholic, and Jeff a Jew, and the wedding was officiated by a priest and a rabbi at the same time.

It was a lovely trip. Wifey was pregnant with D2, who we learned WOULD be a D and not a S during the car ride up the Seaboard. 

As we waited for the ceremony, I struck up a conversation with the young rabbi. No -- he wasn't from Charleston, he was from a town called Gastonia, NC. He laughed -- I probably hadn't heard of it. Ha. As if. I told him I had, and my Dad's childhood friend lived there -- Harry Binder.

The Rabbi's jaw dropped. Harry and his family were the FOUNDERS of his congregation. He knew the family quite well -- they were pillars of his community. I think he said Harry had died a few years before. I guess the two friends from the Bronx weren't destined to make it to old age.

Fast forward again -- to the late 90s. I had a deposition in Charlotte, NC. As usual, I arrived hours ahead of schedule, and had time to kill. As I drove around town, I was a highway sign: "To Gastonia." I followed it, and soon was in the land of Harry.

I found a local diner, and stopped in for breakfast. The place was out of a movie of the old south. The waitress asked where I was from -- most of the diners were local. When I told her Miami, she laughed and said "And you speak English??????" I responded in my best Al Pacino from "Scarface:" "Oh -- not so goooooood." We both laughed and I had a memorably delicious breakfast -- thick cut bacon and eggs with biscuits. I think the waitress gave me extra bacon since she may have sensed my Old Testament background...

So I hope all is well, despite the shooting, in Gastonia. For me, it's not just a place. It's a place in time.

Fast forward from '77 or '78 to 1991.

Nancy the Vampiress

 So of all the nurses my family knows, the best phlebotomist, by far, is Nurse Nancy. We've known her for years -- she worked for our doctor friend Dave G, and always enjoyed our visits with her. She's smart, and warm hearted -- our kids are close in age, too.

She's been married to a long time Miami cop, who retired and was then re-hired by Coral Gables. Her son and daughter, to Nancy's chagrin, both followed their father's career path, and now work for Miami and Coral Gables, too. During the unrest in Miami last Summer, her daughter was caught in a dicey moment, when the visigoths were trying to gain access to Miami Police Headquarters. Thankfully, backups from Miami Beach kept the pillagers at bay.

When Dr. David retired, and sold his practice to Dr. Mary, Nancy stayed on. I'm the only remaining patient -- the Ds and Wifey switched to our friend Ruby's husband Harris. Harris runs a concierge practice without the hefty annual fee. As typical, I have the most inertia, and still see Dr. Cross. It may be this is my final year of paying the $1800 annual fee for services I rarely use.

Still, my "executive physical exam" is set for late November, and today I saw Nancy for the blood draw. She took 7 vials for the MDVIP patented assay. They measure all kinds of things -- not just cholesterol, but how "clumpy" it is. Eric, who I trust above any other Internal Medicine/Cardiologist, says much of it it total bullshit. But nonetheless, I offered my arm, and Nancy drained away. Hopefully the Big Man will decide I have no latent, dread disease going on.

Nancy cooed over photos of the grandson. She's known D1 since she was a girl. Nancy BADLY wants to join the abuela club. Hopefully it happens for her soon. I know she will be an awesome one.

Other than that, it's been a pretty quiet week at Villa Wifey. I got in close to 11 miles of walks yesterday, the last 1.5 mile with Wifey and our neighbor Gloria, who we both really like. Gloria's husband Ben, a health nut, literally dropped dead a year and a half ago, while jogging in the 'hood. I make sure NOT to jog since then -- not that I have since forced to by the coach in high school baseball.

Gloria is staying in the house, which gladdens me. Her sons live in NYC and New Jersey, and both are single. One helps run the family bicycle business, and comes to Miami a lot. Gloria loves it here, like I do. 

I also met my man from Total Wine, with 2 large bottles of Ketel One, for the duration. I really like Tito's, but my Zoom Happy Hours have given me the opportunity to taste compare. For now, Ketel is my choice -- maybe it has to do with the first time I tried it. It was at Chalet Suzanne, in the "Wine closet" they had there, during a visit with Mike and Loni. It was a lovely stay, and my first Ketel One -- wow -- now decades in the past.

Today I await InstaCart's arrival. Wifey went back for a late morning nap.

We had a nice Zoom yesterday. It appeared no one was attending, so I texted my nephew of another mister Josh, who had the day off on account of the passing storm, and told him I was alone on Zoom. He joined, we toasted, and sure enough, Cara, Darriel, and Mike joined in. It was nice -- sharing a Monday cocktail amid nice banter.

Mike had returned from Disney, and Josh asked if they replaced Trump in the Hall of Presidents yet. Sure enough, they mentioned they had.

So I await the results from my favorite Vampire. Hopefully all well.