In the classic British comedy "Fawlty Towers," the best episode by far is the one where the German guests are coming to stay at the Inn. Basil, for most of the episode, pounds into his staff the admonition "Whatever you do, don't mention the war."
Of course, Basil is conked on the head, and ends up talking about NOTHING EXCEPT the war, going so far as to call the guests Nazis, and blaming them for everything that's wrong with the world.
The episode is so funny because we relate to Basil's exasperation. He just asks for one small thing, and then it blows up in his face.
Sometimes this happens in life. We just ask for sone small thing, repeatedly. Sometimes we're promised that thing, and then BLAM! It blows up on us. Sometimes when this happens, it's not funny at all.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wasting My Time
Lawyers' clients seem to have a disconnect between wanting advice and realizing they have to pay for the lawyer's time.
When you hire a plumber, he comes to your house and you pay by the hour. Last time I had one, I paid over $75 per hour to a fellow who had a high school education, and, when he fixed my leaking toilet, was happy to pay every dollar.
Earlier this week, I took some clients to my friend and neighbor's office, to refer their case. My friend spent a good 3 hours explaining the intricacies of the case to them, and then called to tell me the clients were going to "think about it."
Today, my partner went to see a gentleman in Hollywood, who was badly injured in a car wreck. He spent 2 hours explaining things to the man and his wife, only to have the wife say "Wow --you've really taught us a great deal, and you're impressive, but my son from California forbis us from hiring a lawyer. He has a connection to one, and we'll probably go in that direction."
Lord forbid these jerks told my partner that before he gave up 1/2 of a day to meet with them. Years ago, when I asked a law school classmate about his clients, he said "Dave --clients in this filed are the moral equivalent of cockroaches. I do a good job for them, but never go out of my way." I guess he had LOTS of experiences like this.
In other news in the jerk category, I got an announcement in the mail yesterday from an attorney in PEmbroke Pines who I'll call Susan D, because that's her name. She was asking me to refer her cases. The problem is,years ago she cheated me out of a co counsel fee. Talk about chutzpah! I sent her a sarcastic email, telling her she's a piece of offal.
Not a very inspiring week here in attorney town...
When you hire a plumber, he comes to your house and you pay by the hour. Last time I had one, I paid over $75 per hour to a fellow who had a high school education, and, when he fixed my leaking toilet, was happy to pay every dollar.
Earlier this week, I took some clients to my friend and neighbor's office, to refer their case. My friend spent a good 3 hours explaining the intricacies of the case to them, and then called to tell me the clients were going to "think about it."
Today, my partner went to see a gentleman in Hollywood, who was badly injured in a car wreck. He spent 2 hours explaining things to the man and his wife, only to have the wife say "Wow --you've really taught us a great deal, and you're impressive, but my son from California forbis us from hiring a lawyer. He has a connection to one, and we'll probably go in that direction."
Lord forbid these jerks told my partner that before he gave up 1/2 of a day to meet with them. Years ago, when I asked a law school classmate about his clients, he said "Dave --clients in this filed are the moral equivalent of cockroaches. I do a good job for them, but never go out of my way." I guess he had LOTS of experiences like this.
In other news in the jerk category, I got an announcement in the mail yesterday from an attorney in PEmbroke Pines who I'll call Susan D, because that's her name. She was asking me to refer her cases. The problem is,years ago she cheated me out of a co counsel fee. Talk about chutzpah! I sent her a sarcastic email, telling her she's a piece of offal.
Not a very inspiring week here in attorney town...
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Food Glorious Food
I'm 46, and I really, really love to eat. Today, I saw a client in Hialeah, a working class city here in Miami Dade County, mostly Cuban, and afterwards I went to a great sandwich shop on W 12th Avenue called Sarussi Cafeteria. They've been there since 1965, and make a chicken sandwich with a marinated breast, onions, toasted Cuban bread, and the little potato spears that we used to get with lunch in grade school. It may have been the most delicious sandwich I've ever had, except for a corned beef on rye, which, if I ever fail to respect, will cause my father's ghost to come down and haunt me.
Anyway, it was great, and HUGE. You'd have thought that was enough food for the day, but NO --Barry's on his way over, and we're heading out for sushi next door. More food. I love it.
When I was a child, I hated to eat. Apparently I was very skinny, and my mother remembers buying "slim" pants and having to take them in. Once I passed puberty, though, it all changed, and I've never looked back.
I wish I could report that I was a foodie, but I'm not. I love many simple things, like Cantonese Chinese, pizza, a good hamburger. Hey --as I've already reported, a great sandwich does it for me.
So, it appears this extra 50 lbs I carry around isn't going anywhere for awhile. Besides, compared to many folks I know, I look positively tubercular.
Ah --Barry draws near, and I just told him that the Thai/Japanese place next door has the best bowl of wonton soup in the City. I love to eat.
Anyway, it was great, and HUGE. You'd have thought that was enough food for the day, but NO --Barry's on his way over, and we're heading out for sushi next door. More food. I love it.
When I was a child, I hated to eat. Apparently I was very skinny, and my mother remembers buying "slim" pants and having to take them in. Once I passed puberty, though, it all changed, and I've never looked back.
I wish I could report that I was a foodie, but I'm not. I love many simple things, like Cantonese Chinese, pizza, a good hamburger. Hey --as I've already reported, a great sandwich does it for me.
So, it appears this extra 50 lbs I carry around isn't going anywhere for awhile. Besides, compared to many folks I know, I look positively tubercular.
Ah --Barry draws near, and I just told him that the Thai/Japanese place next door has the best bowl of wonton soup in the City. I love to eat.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
The End of the Weekend
It's Sunday morning, one of my favorite times of the week. As Greg Allman sang "Good ole Sunday morning, bells are ringing everywhere..." Who am I kidding? As the annoying and upbeat person I usually am, MOST times of the week are my favorite.
But this one is special. Daughters #1 and #2 went out last night to a movie together, and really enjoyed each other's company. #2 is sleeping at a friend's; #1 is snoozing away in her bed here. #1 will leave in a few hours for her return to UF, and 2 final exams, before returning here, hopefully, on December 6.
Wifey and I just dragged the dogs around the 'hood, and then went to Roasters for my Sunday morning ambrosia: coffee, a perfectly toasted bagel, and Nova salmon sliced so thinly you could read the Herald through it.
Friday night our friend from Orlando came, and we set up some chairs in front of the house to gaze at the gorgeous full moon. Clouds came in, and then a summer-like rain started. We brought the chairs under the porch (loggia --it's an Italian style house) roof, and I lit a fire in the chimnea. I drank whiskey and our friend drank wine, while the 3 of us talked about life and love, and how hard it is to find the latter.
At about 1145 pm, we ordered some pizza, and we ate it after midnight, like we were still in college. It was white pizza, and it was delicious.
So, back to work tomorrow. Daughter #1 has a few days of classes, and then a final exam or two. If she can't find a driving partner home, I may fly up to Orlando, have her pick me up at the airport there, and drive home with her. Daughter #2 has 3 weeks of classes before her winter break. I'm thinking that the liklihood of my working the last week of 2007 is pretty small.
So, I'm back to Sunday morning. Wifey just told me that she saw a woman on a talk show saying that she was looking for her perfect man, who would take her on her perfect Sunday morning date: work out together, go for breakfast, and then go to church. Well, I hit two out of three...
But this one is special. Daughters #1 and #2 went out last night to a movie together, and really enjoyed each other's company. #2 is sleeping at a friend's; #1 is snoozing away in her bed here. #1 will leave in a few hours for her return to UF, and 2 final exams, before returning here, hopefully, on December 6.
Wifey and I just dragged the dogs around the 'hood, and then went to Roasters for my Sunday morning ambrosia: coffee, a perfectly toasted bagel, and Nova salmon sliced so thinly you could read the Herald through it.
Friday night our friend from Orlando came, and we set up some chairs in front of the house to gaze at the gorgeous full moon. Clouds came in, and then a summer-like rain started. We brought the chairs under the porch (loggia --it's an Italian style house) roof, and I lit a fire in the chimnea. I drank whiskey and our friend drank wine, while the 3 of us talked about life and love, and how hard it is to find the latter.
At about 1145 pm, we ordered some pizza, and we ate it after midnight, like we were still in college. It was white pizza, and it was delicious.
So, back to work tomorrow. Daughter #1 has a few days of classes, and then a final exam or two. If she can't find a driving partner home, I may fly up to Orlando, have her pick me up at the airport there, and drive home with her. Daughter #2 has 3 weeks of classes before her winter break. I'm thinking that the liklihood of my working the last week of 2007 is pretty small.
So, I'm back to Sunday morning. Wifey just told me that she saw a woman on a talk show saying that she was looking for her perfect man, who would take her on her perfect Sunday morning date: work out together, go for breakfast, and then go to church. Well, I hit two out of three...
Friday, November 23, 2007
The Matriarch
Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and we all decamped to Boynton Beach for a fine feast prepared by my sister. My brother in law spoke briefly, and was beautifully overcome with emotion as he shared his gratitude for his grandchildren, children, wife, and my family. He also recognized my mother, the matriarch of our clan. She beamed.
She'll be 88 in April, and, as far back as I can remember (probably when she was 48 or so) she has treated every single day as a precious gift. She lives very simply, probably on less than $15,000 per year, and feels like she's extremely rich. She envies NO ONE, and NOTHING. I think that's a key to her long and happy life --eliminating all the negative feelings that accompany the "I coulda been a contenda" mantra of life's losers.
At this point in her life, Mom simpy doesn't want to hear the negative. She's cut off contact from people who tell her sad tales. She doesn't watch the news or get a newspaper, because she doesn't want to hear the mostly negative stories.
Sometimes we, her children, feel a bit cheated that we can't share our trials with her. But, the truth is, at almost 88 there's nothing practical she can do when there's a difficult issue, so we act wisely and insulate her. She's taught us well --we now know that telling her negative tales simply lets US vent, upsets her, and changes nothing. It's no longer her job to dispense advice or support. We're thrilled to simply have her with us.
She still makes us laugh. One of her great granddaughters gave her a running hug yesterday, and nearly knocked her down. As we all replayed various permutations of the "flying grandma," she laughed along with us. Later, one of her great grandDOGS jumped up and licked her face. She told me it was the "most action" she's had in years.
She volunteers at a local hospital each week, feeding sick patients and transporting them around. The hospital staff loves her there. One of my closest friends is now a big shot doctor at the hospital. He always goes out of his way to greet her, and give her a big play, as they say in Vegas. She loves that.
So, as I gather and consider my blessings, this one's for Sunny, she of the most appropriate nickname around.
Years ago, I asked my father's advice about chosing a wife. Did he care about her religion, or background. "Dave, it's simple. MArry someone who is PLEASANT." He did that, in 1942, and she remains so 65 years later.
We all love you, Mom.
She'll be 88 in April, and, as far back as I can remember (probably when she was 48 or so) she has treated every single day as a precious gift. She lives very simply, probably on less than $15,000 per year, and feels like she's extremely rich. She envies NO ONE, and NOTHING. I think that's a key to her long and happy life --eliminating all the negative feelings that accompany the "I coulda been a contenda" mantra of life's losers.
At this point in her life, Mom simpy doesn't want to hear the negative. She's cut off contact from people who tell her sad tales. She doesn't watch the news or get a newspaper, because she doesn't want to hear the mostly negative stories.
Sometimes we, her children, feel a bit cheated that we can't share our trials with her. But, the truth is, at almost 88 there's nothing practical she can do when there's a difficult issue, so we act wisely and insulate her. She's taught us well --we now know that telling her negative tales simply lets US vent, upsets her, and changes nothing. It's no longer her job to dispense advice or support. We're thrilled to simply have her with us.
She still makes us laugh. One of her great granddaughters gave her a running hug yesterday, and nearly knocked her down. As we all replayed various permutations of the "flying grandma," she laughed along with us. Later, one of her great grandDOGS jumped up and licked her face. She told me it was the "most action" she's had in years.
She volunteers at a local hospital each week, feeding sick patients and transporting them around. The hospital staff loves her there. One of my closest friends is now a big shot doctor at the hospital. He always goes out of his way to greet her, and give her a big play, as they say in Vegas. She loves that.
So, as I gather and consider my blessings, this one's for Sunny, she of the most appropriate nickname around.
Years ago, I asked my father's advice about chosing a wife. Did he care about her religion, or background. "Dave, it's simple. MArry someone who is PLEASANT." He did that, in 1942, and she remains so 65 years later.
We all love you, Mom.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Erev Thanksgiving
Tomorrow's Thanksgiving, and I thought it best to ease into the holiday by taking the day off. Daughter #1 came home last night, and she awoke and headed for the smoothie shop to bring her sister a "Blueberry Burst" (with soy protein). Daughter #2 LOVES when her sister does this.
Afterwards, the college sophomore met wifey, and the two visited the new Whole Foods store in South Miami. As she called me about this, you'd have thought she visited Disney World for the first time.
Tonight the girls have friends over, and I'm loving the feel and sounds of a full house --having them both here. If I had one goal as a father, it was to have my girls become close friends, and it seems it's mission accomplished. I want them to be there for each other no matter what. They have different personalities, but they love each other deeply. That makes me so happy.
Anyway, tomorrow it's over the Interstate and through the retirees to grandmother's house we'll go, to hang a few pictures and do a few chores for the world's happiest almost 88 year old. Then, off to Aunt T's for her annual Thanksgiving Day feast, the one day of the year we all seem to be able to get together.
Wifey's a bit anxious, since she hasn't been out of Dade County since JAnuary, but we'll take our time and get her there, hopefully.
The rest of the weekend, I plan to continue the Daddy-\Daughter bonding thing.
It's nice to have the kids home for the holidays.
Afterwards, the college sophomore met wifey, and the two visited the new Whole Foods store in South Miami. As she called me about this, you'd have thought she visited Disney World for the first time.
Tonight the girls have friends over, and I'm loving the feel and sounds of a full house --having them both here. If I had one goal as a father, it was to have my girls become close friends, and it seems it's mission accomplished. I want them to be there for each other no matter what. They have different personalities, but they love each other deeply. That makes me so happy.
Anyway, tomorrow it's over the Interstate and through the retirees to grandmother's house we'll go, to hang a few pictures and do a few chores for the world's happiest almost 88 year old. Then, off to Aunt T's for her annual Thanksgiving Day feast, the one day of the year we all seem to be able to get together.
Wifey's a bit anxious, since she hasn't been out of Dade County since JAnuary, but we'll take our time and get her there, hopefully.
The rest of the weekend, I plan to continue the Daddy-\Daughter bonding thing.
It's nice to have the kids home for the holidays.
Monday, November 19, 2007
The Land of Our People...
Daughter #1 called wifey tonight with exciting news: she was selected for the "Birthright " program, along with her roommate and some UF fraternity brothers, to go to Israel this December.
Birthright was funded with over $1 Billion (with a B) by a JEwish philanthropist who wanted all Diaspora JEws to visit the Homeland before they were 25. Trips leave from NYC, LA, and Miami (the nation's 3 Hymietowns), and this trip leaves from JFK.
I visited Israel with my parents when I was 8, as our first trip on an airplane. I still remember a good deal, although the most exciting part to me, a junior NASA-phile, was watching Neil Armstrong's moon walk from a store front TV in Tel Aviv.
I want to go back.
Daughter #1 tends to like luxury trips, and the Birthright trips are the opposite. They take the young adults to cultura sites like Masada, and Kibbutzim, and really teach them about their heritage. I'm told they don't tolerate princess-like behavior. We'll see...
My father was always more of a Zionist than observant Jew, and I'm the same. I'm anxious to hear my daughter's take on her mother's native country. I hope she likes it, but not too much --lest we have to buy a condo in Hertzalea someday. We could do worse...
Birthright was funded with over $1 Billion (with a B) by a JEwish philanthropist who wanted all Diaspora JEws to visit the Homeland before they were 25. Trips leave from NYC, LA, and Miami (the nation's 3 Hymietowns), and this trip leaves from JFK.
I visited Israel with my parents when I was 8, as our first trip on an airplane. I still remember a good deal, although the most exciting part to me, a junior NASA-phile, was watching Neil Armstrong's moon walk from a store front TV in Tel Aviv.
I want to go back.
Daughter #1 tends to like luxury trips, and the Birthright trips are the opposite. They take the young adults to cultura sites like Masada, and Kibbutzim, and really teach them about their heritage. I'm told they don't tolerate princess-like behavior. We'll see...
My father was always more of a Zionist than observant Jew, and I'm the same. I'm anxious to hear my daughter's take on her mother's native country. I hope she likes it, but not too much --lest we have to buy a condo in Hertzalea someday. We could do worse...
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