A Possible Reunion

 So my second semester freshman year at UM, Spring of 1980, was the beginning of transition for me. No -- I had no desire to become a chick, and heaven knows how much easier my life may have been as a gay man, if I could have just stomached the sex part. It was the beginning of a transition from Biology major to English major -- and the transition would take until middle of my junior year.

I was taking freshman Biology and Chemistry and getting Bs in both, but really only loving my Humanities classes -- English and Religion. And my second semester English prof was a woman named Judy, who immediately reminded me of my older sister, since they kind of looked alike and were both Queens Jewish women -- about the same age. But Judy's life path was far different from my sister's -- she was a PhD in Medieval Literature, and married to a doctor scientist, Bob, who was vice chair of Neurology at the med school.

By the end of the semester, we had become close family friends. Bob and Judy had me babysit their kids, Sarah and Ari, and they had me over for dinners in their book infested house in the Gables. I looked up to them -- imagining someday having a house like that -- filled with books and really cool art -- with 2 VERY smart kids, who both, ironically, had learning disorders. They still did fine -- Sarah became a master chef who later opened a catering business, and though her husband has been disabled with Alzheimer's for years, her son is now the age I was when I met her family -- an incoming freshman at his grandparents' alma mater, Indiana U. Ari is an IT guy, who moved with his wife and son, now 12, to North Carolina.

Alas, Bob died a few years back -- a truly accomplished man who always wanted to be a History professor but his immigrant Jewish parents insisted on medical school. And he did fine there -- mentoring many -- including my neighbor Jose, who is the current Neurology Chair and a national stroke expert.

But back to my undergraduate days...Judy encouraged me to stick with pre-med, as she thought I'd be a fine doctor, a closeted humanist like her husband. But sophomore year crap started getting real -- Organic Chem, the classic weed out pre med class, befuddled me. I got Cs both semesters, and figured my chances of med school, at least in the US, were dashed. But Bob hired me as a lab assistant, and I spent the Summer butchering frogs in an attempt to extract their spinal cords for research he and John, his PhD, did on GABA. I ended up making it as a "co-author" of several scientific articles, though in fact I was just a frog butcherer.

Bob assured me he would "get me into med school, despite the Cs in Organic (and Calculus, another class that was screaming to me maybe I had chosen the wrong path)." So I soldiered on, and then first semester junior year, knew it was time to switch, and I did, though I already had enough credits to be a Chemistry minor. Sure enough, that first semester as an English major, I got  a 4.0, and LOVED my classes. I had found myself, at least intellectually. Philosophically, I'm still looking for myself -- especially in the dark.

Now Judy took over as my career mentor, and I still remember a long talk over dinner at her house, where I asked her which PhD programs I should apply to, to become a professor like she was. "None," was her clear reply. She explained that now, at the end of the Baby Boom years, there was a surfeit (a word my Organic Professor Harry Schultz used) of academics, and "Harvard PhDs are waiting tables in Boston."

And then Judy came hard with the emmes: "You're a nice Jewish boy who will someday have a family and want to support them, and you won't be able to as a college professor. Go to law school."

What? I never thought about law school -- the Pre Law guys I knew were all jerks, and the law never particularly interested me. But thankfully I listened to Judy, and followed her advice, and, like the less traveled path of Robert Frost fame, has made all the difference.

I lucked, largely, into a VERY lucrative career, providing for my family beyond my wildest dreams, and living in a house I couldn't have even really considered, let alone taking trips that I never imagined, let alone setting up my kids and grandkids with, as Paul likes to call what HE did for his family, "generational wealth."

I never much did come to love the law stuff, but the business part of it was fine, and at least we made our money on the right side of cases -- like Robin Hoods -- stealing from rich insurers and companies and giving it to the poor, while keeping a third or 40% as our fee...

Anyway, Judy and I reconnected this week. She's had a rough time of it -- decades of a chronic fatigue syndrome that cut short her career. But she's soldiered on as an awesome Mom and grandmother -- her daughter and grandson live with her in an addition to the house completed just before Bob died.

We're trying to work out a reunion -- hopefully next week I can get over in the afternoon, when her energy is highest. I plan to stop at Madruga, the gourmet bakery D1's friend owns and runs, with her Dad, who founded Pollo Tropical, despite being a garden variety American Jew. Hey -- Miami.

Judy and I have a LOT to catch up on, and I plan to mostly listen. Her wisdom helped guide my professional life four and a half decades ago. If I've learned nothing else in my 64 years, I've learned to listen to people who truly know.

Meanwhile, today will be spent with a very close friend who needs some legal consigliere help -- while Wifey re-homes the enormous puppy Betsy and skittish Spaniel Lemon. We'll be back to just the special needs Spaniel Bo -- low energy like we need our dogs to be.

But hopefully I get to reconnect with my old professor -- I'll thank her again for her most sage advice.